Christmas has come and the New Year is beckoning. May Christ Jesus and the renewal of His Life in you be the center of your days, weeks and months of 2008. This is a great poem/song that helps translate the beauty and grace of God's original creation into the "recreation" (what a great word!) of each new day. Lord bless our friends in this new season and smile broadly on them, their loved-ones and the work of their hands.
Morning Has Broken
lyrics by Eleanor Farjeon
Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word
Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass
Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
A Touch of Spiritual Nighttime
The long and enduring spiritual nighttime of seemingly unfulfilled promises from God had swept over the ancient nation of Israel for centuries. The promise that David’s throne would endure forever and never lack an heir seemed to have been dashed with the division of the kingdom and the exile. The devout waited in agony. The godly wondered if God would ever intervene again. Where was the seed of the woman that would crush the serpent’s head? Where was the seed of Abraham that would bless all the people groups and families of the earth? Where was the Prophet who would be like father Moses?
A chosen nation who had been called to be a kingdom of holy priests in the whole earth had been reduced to a powerless and religiously confused divided nation—occupied by a brutish and pagan empire. But in the darkness, a light of hope had flickered. Cryptic and mysterious prophecies had been dusted off and reinterpreted in the midst of the long season of disillusionment and doubting.
God cannot lie—"maybe we are the ones who had misunderstood the nature and true applications of what the old prophets had said." In the darkest night of the nation's history, a hope had somehow arisen of the coming of God’s Chosen king—the true and greater Son of David—Ha'Mashiach—the Anointed One—the only hope for Israel. The One who would restore and fulfill the promises to Eve and Abraham and Moses and David. The Everlasting Covenant of God to bless all humanity—updated and upgraded through the Messiah coming to the earth in Person.
On Christmas Eve it's good for us to open our hearts to the agonizing longings of a world to whom Christ had not yet come--even if only for a brief song. This exercise can also deepen our appreciation for Jesus the Christ and the renewal of the reality of His Spirit within us when we necessarily go through our own periodic and episodic spiritual nighttimes. It's not altogether unlike our present longing for His second coming.
May the Lord prepare your heart for the celebration of His visitation.
O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.
Refrain
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.
O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.
Refrain
O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.
Refrain
O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Refrain
O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.
Refrain
O come, O come, great Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes on Sinai’s height
In ancient times once gave the law
In cloud and majesty and awe.
Refrain
O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.
Refrain
O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.
Refrain
A chosen nation who had been called to be a kingdom of holy priests in the whole earth had been reduced to a powerless and religiously confused divided nation—occupied by a brutish and pagan empire. But in the darkness, a light of hope had flickered. Cryptic and mysterious prophecies had been dusted off and reinterpreted in the midst of the long season of disillusionment and doubting.
God cannot lie—"maybe we are the ones who had misunderstood the nature and true applications of what the old prophets had said." In the darkest night of the nation's history, a hope had somehow arisen of the coming of God’s Chosen king—the true and greater Son of David—Ha'Mashiach—the Anointed One—the only hope for Israel. The One who would restore and fulfill the promises to Eve and Abraham and Moses and David. The Everlasting Covenant of God to bless all humanity—updated and upgraded through the Messiah coming to the earth in Person.
On Christmas Eve it's good for us to open our hearts to the agonizing longings of a world to whom Christ had not yet come--even if only for a brief song. This exercise can also deepen our appreciation for Jesus the Christ and the renewal of the reality of His Spirit within us when we necessarily go through our own periodic and episodic spiritual nighttimes. It's not altogether unlike our present longing for His second coming.
May the Lord prepare your heart for the celebration of His visitation.
O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.
Refrain
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.
O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.
Refrain
O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.
Refrain
O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Refrain
O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.
Refrain
O come, O come, great Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes on Sinai’s height
In ancient times once gave the law
In cloud and majesty and awe.
Refrain
O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.
Refrain
O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.
Refrain
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Super-Christian?
Yesterday and today I have been preparing to share a message with a congregation here in town called Celebration Community Church. After I preach, a fellow elder from Metro and I, along with the prayers of our wives and their whole congregation will be recognizing and appointing a new eldership team to guide and govern their community of faith. They recently experienced a total change in their church leadership that was very painful and challenging, but apparently a change that the Holy Spirit saw fit to initiate and undertake.
There is a paradox that we face today as we lay our hands on these servants of Christ and His church. On one hand, they have, truly, a high and holy calling, a sober responsibility, the power of God resting upon them and a very significant work in which to engage. On the other hand, they are imperfect human beings who are still in the process of becoming more like Christ and who are regular folk like the rest of us and their fellow church members whom they will lead. Yet, they will stumble in many ways, both personally and in their leadership. And still...Jesus, the Great Shepherd, will go before them, stand with them, surround them and be their "rear guard"--i.e. necessarily cover their back ends!
I resonate deeply with what the apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians in chapter 3:5-7 about the healthy way to view human leaders in the church:
5What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.
We know from Paul's second letter to them, that the Corinthians were subjected to the influence of some "super apostles"--charismatic and extremely persuasive, but deceitful and manipulative, professional quasi-Christian orators and false-wonder workers who were pulling on them to reject Paul's influence on them and follow after their self-initiated "personality cults". I love the way that Jesus modeled for us and also taught our spiritual fathers like Paul and Peter to dismantle this kind of "mystique" that so many leaders in history have exploited for their own advantage.
Today's church world could be so well served if more of its leaders would also model and promote this kind of Christ-like leadership. This kind of leadership can still be full of confidence and boldness and power, but it doesn't leave such human tragedy in its wake. And that is how we can know the difference--by the lasting fruit over the longer haul.
I am weary of "super-preachers" who are striving to create "super-Christians" and "super-churches". I have too often witnessed the personal breakdowns that have come with this agenda through the over 30 years of being in vocational ministry. I believe that simply being a graciously born anew follower of Jesus the Christ is awesome enough for any human soul. At least it is for me. Is it for you?
There is a paradox that we face today as we lay our hands on these servants of Christ and His church. On one hand, they have, truly, a high and holy calling, a sober responsibility, the power of God resting upon them and a very significant work in which to engage. On the other hand, they are imperfect human beings who are still in the process of becoming more like Christ and who are regular folk like the rest of us and their fellow church members whom they will lead. Yet, they will stumble in many ways, both personally and in their leadership. And still...Jesus, the Great Shepherd, will go before them, stand with them, surround them and be their "rear guard"--i.e. necessarily cover their back ends!
I resonate deeply with what the apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians in chapter 3:5-7 about the healthy way to view human leaders in the church:
5What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. 6I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. 7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.
We know from Paul's second letter to them, that the Corinthians were subjected to the influence of some "super apostles"--charismatic and extremely persuasive, but deceitful and manipulative, professional quasi-Christian orators and false-wonder workers who were pulling on them to reject Paul's influence on them and follow after their self-initiated "personality cults". I love the way that Jesus modeled for us and also taught our spiritual fathers like Paul and Peter to dismantle this kind of "mystique" that so many leaders in history have exploited for their own advantage.
Today's church world could be so well served if more of its leaders would also model and promote this kind of Christ-like leadership. This kind of leadership can still be full of confidence and boldness and power, but it doesn't leave such human tragedy in its wake. And that is how we can know the difference--by the lasting fruit over the longer haul.
I am weary of "super-preachers" who are striving to create "super-Christians" and "super-churches". I have too often witnessed the personal breakdowns that have come with this agenda through the over 30 years of being in vocational ministry. I believe that simply being a graciously born anew follower of Jesus the Christ is awesome enough for any human soul. At least it is for me. Is it for you?
Monday, December 3, 2007
The Nativity
I thought I'd republish the blog from last year around this time--
Christmas is already on my mind I guess. Please excuse the lack of
capital letters--it was the blogging style with which I began.
i never knew why the birth of Jesus was called the nativity--a bit
embarrassing after all these years. i figured it had some connection
to how we talk about someone's "native land". it comes from a latin
root word that means "arisen from birth". it's the place of birthing.
john, in his gospel, is writing out of an understanding of the
incarnation of Christ being the inauguration or "the nativity" of a
"new genesis". "in the beginning"--The Father and The Word and The
Spirit, acting in a trinitarian concert of love, brooded over the
chaos and brought forth the first creation. but now there is a
astounding new development in God's plan for the earth. The Father,
The Word and The Spirit are brooding again in Jn 1:14--conspiring to
incarnate their love--within a chaotic world--filled with brokenness,
pain, tragedy, injustice, hatred, war, man-made corrupted religion,
sin, guilt and shame...the result being the "new creation" with the
prototype of a "new humanity" present on the earth's stage...Jesus of
Nazareth. Immanuel--God with us...God become like us...a commentary on
His original design for humanity, His love for and enjoyment of
humanity (and even the fallen world we inhabit that yet reflects the
beauty of His original design) and His desired destiny for humanity.
now...the Word becomes flesh--fully human as well a fully divine--
unimaginable, unheard of (except in cryptic ancient prophecies not
even fully understood by those through whom it flowed), a mystery and
miracle of the highest magnitude. the incarnation of Jesus points
profoundly to new birth, a new beginning, a new genesis, for the
inhabitants of the whole earth and ultimately for the earth
itself--"good news of great joy that will be for all the people"--as
the angels proclaimed to the shepherds.
when God sent His chosen King...the eternally begotten Son...into the
world, what was encoded in the message of it all? mary prophesied the
essence of it in her inspired poem--the magnificat--"He has shown
strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of
their hearts; he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and
exalted those of humble estate...." (Luke 1:51-52) when God personally
entered this world in Christ, He came to put it right side up,
establish His justice and shed abroad His mercy by bringing down the
proud and arrogant and exalting the humble folk of the earth.
this mission is clearly portrayed in the nativity story. the
professional priest, zechariah, responds with unbelief to Gabriel's
big news, while the simple young maiden welcomes the even more amazing
message to her with a spirit of trust and belief. the lowly shepherds
receive a divine visitation of angels proclaiming the secrets of the
kingdom of God while the "movers and shakers" of Bethlehem are left
out of the story. the elderly simeon and anna have the Spirit of God
on them with the power to discern and bless in the name of the Lord
and the religious elite are also bypassed and left out of the story.
later on, mysteriously inspired wise men from the east go on a long
and costly pilgrimage to pay tribute to the foreign and humble infant
King, while the reigning king of the jewish nation, is threatened and
murderously enraged simply by the fuzzy buzz about the birth of One
who would one day sit on David's throne by the will of God. it's a
story of unlikely heroes who were not great in their own eyes.
but the force that God exerts in bringing down the proud and exalting
the humble does not proceed from His anger, but from His amazing
kindness. He himself will model the way of humility. He will leave
behind the pristine beauties of heaven. He will enter the world
incognito. He will make Himself of no reputation. He will enter the
world as a vulnerable fetus--born to common folk--poor, oppressed,
unknown, but devout and faithful to their covenant with God. He will
come as a suffering Servant/King. God the Almighty will come to His
own creation as a humble king...and personally bear the heavy pains
afflicting His precious creation.
this reveals an amazing and compelling truth about the God of the
scriptures...the one and only true God is humble in nature. when the
logos calls us to humble ourselves, it comes out of the ethos and
pathos of His own willingness to humble Himself. and...if He can and
would do such a thing, how can we reasonably hold on to our pride--in
whatever form it shows itself. there's an amazing reality about
humility...we can choose it no matter what our situation. may we
choose it daily--even continually...for "God is opposed to the proud,
but gives grace to the humble."
Christmas is already on my mind I guess. Please excuse the lack of
capital letters--it was the blogging style with which I began.
i never knew why the birth of Jesus was called the nativity--a bit
embarrassing after all these years. i figured it had some connection
to how we talk about someone's "native land". it comes from a latin
root word that means "arisen from birth". it's the place of birthing.
john, in his gospel, is writing out of an understanding of the
incarnation of Christ being the inauguration or "the nativity" of a
"new genesis". "in the beginning"--The Father and The Word and The
Spirit, acting in a trinitarian concert of love, brooded over the
chaos and brought forth the first creation. but now there is a
astounding new development in God's plan for the earth. The Father,
The Word and The Spirit are brooding again in Jn 1:14--conspiring to
incarnate their love--within a chaotic world--filled with brokenness,
pain, tragedy, injustice, hatred, war, man-made corrupted religion,
sin, guilt and shame...the result being the "new creation" with the
prototype of a "new humanity" present on the earth's stage...Jesus of
Nazareth. Immanuel--God with us...God become like us...a commentary on
His original design for humanity, His love for and enjoyment of
humanity (and even the fallen world we inhabit that yet reflects the
beauty of His original design) and His desired destiny for humanity.
now...the Word becomes flesh--fully human as well a fully divine--
unimaginable, unheard of (except in cryptic ancient prophecies not
even fully understood by those through whom it flowed), a mystery and
miracle of the highest magnitude. the incarnation of Jesus points
profoundly to new birth, a new beginning, a new genesis, for the
inhabitants of the whole earth and ultimately for the earth
itself--"good news of great joy that will be for all the people"--as
the angels proclaimed to the shepherds.
when God sent His chosen King...the eternally begotten Son...into the
world, what was encoded in the message of it all? mary prophesied the
essence of it in her inspired poem--the magnificat--"He has shown
strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of
their hearts; he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and
exalted those of humble estate...." (Luke 1:51-52) when God personally
entered this world in Christ, He came to put it right side up,
establish His justice and shed abroad His mercy by bringing down the
proud and arrogant and exalting the humble folk of the earth.
this mission is clearly portrayed in the nativity story. the
professional priest, zechariah, responds with unbelief to Gabriel's
big news, while the simple young maiden welcomes the even more amazing
message to her with a spirit of trust and belief. the lowly shepherds
receive a divine visitation of angels proclaiming the secrets of the
kingdom of God while the "movers and shakers" of Bethlehem are left
out of the story. the elderly simeon and anna have the Spirit of God
on them with the power to discern and bless in the name of the Lord
and the religious elite are also bypassed and left out of the story.
later on, mysteriously inspired wise men from the east go on a long
and costly pilgrimage to pay tribute to the foreign and humble infant
King, while the reigning king of the jewish nation, is threatened and
murderously enraged simply by the fuzzy buzz about the birth of One
who would one day sit on David's throne by the will of God. it's a
story of unlikely heroes who were not great in their own eyes.
but the force that God exerts in bringing down the proud and exalting
the humble does not proceed from His anger, but from His amazing
kindness. He himself will model the way of humility. He will leave
behind the pristine beauties of heaven. He will enter the world
incognito. He will make Himself of no reputation. He will enter the
world as a vulnerable fetus--born to common folk--poor, oppressed,
unknown, but devout and faithful to their covenant with God. He will
come as a suffering Servant/King. God the Almighty will come to His
own creation as a humble king...and personally bear the heavy pains
afflicting His precious creation.
this reveals an amazing and compelling truth about the God of the
scriptures...the one and only true God is humble in nature. when the
logos calls us to humble ourselves, it comes out of the ethos and
pathos of His own willingness to humble Himself. and...if He can and
would do such a thing, how can we reasonably hold on to our pride--in
whatever form it shows itself. there's an amazing reality about
humility...we can choose it no matter what our situation. may we
choose it daily--even continually...for "God is opposed to the proud,
but gives grace to the humble."
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
How Can We Find God's Will?
1 Thes 5:16 Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
As a spiritual director and teacher, I often have the experience of people asking me about how they can come to discover God's will for their lives. Actually, it is the most commonly asked question that I encounter among God's people. There is much to say about divine guidance. However, I believe the place to begin to get our bearings is not to fret about discerning the details, but to create the kind of atmosphere around our souls, our lives and our inter-personal relationships in which the Holy Spirit is free to express Himself--His "natural habitat" if you will.
The above 3 simple verses speak to the nature of this Spirit-rich environment. God's will for our lives is embedded and encoded in these three apostolic injunctions and...on a basic level, His "will" is the same for us all. God's will is not, first of all, about a geography, a vocation, finding a certain set of human relations, a task to do, a gift to utilize or a ministry to accomplish. It is, rather, something within the grasp of each one of us...even if we have strayed from God's will.
We begin by stopping in our tracks and connecting with the Trinity from the depths of our hearts. I actually like to work backwards through this "trinity" of commands to again find my centered-ness in God.
1. There is always something in our lives about which to be grateful to God. Locate those things and give Him your thanks.
2. Start, or restart, your running dialog with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Relate with Him in "real time" to everything in your life--the good, the bad, the sad, the difficult, the great, the small and so on. He is the Wonderful Counselor and He will be that to us if we only invite Him to interact with us in the intimate conceptions, attitudes, motivations, meditations, musings, responses, reactions, temptations, failings and successes within our souls that no human being can perceive. In addition to "saying prayers", there is a hidden stream of prayer that is well able to run its subterranean course beneath the surface of our busy lives that are occupied with so many responsibilities, pressures and spiritual warfare. Undergirding our occupations can be a marvelous preoccupation--talking and listening to God.
3. It seems to me that the only possible way we can actually find the grace from God to always be joyful is greatly dependent upon experiencing these first two things. The essence of joy, then, must be about simply enjoying a genuine friendship with God...right in the midst of a broken and very imperfect world... right in the midst of my sorrows and griefs...and even in the face of my trials, temptations and my various failures. Could it be that God is not intimidated by these things and doesn't back off from me...as I so often would if I were He? Maybe there is such a reality in this world as being "joyful always" after all.
If the third command (in my reordered list) seems too difficult for us to reach, let's try the first two and see where they may lead us!
As a spiritual director and teacher, I often have the experience of people asking me about how they can come to discover God's will for their lives. Actually, it is the most commonly asked question that I encounter among God's people. There is much to say about divine guidance. However, I believe the place to begin to get our bearings is not to fret about discerning the details, but to create the kind of atmosphere around our souls, our lives and our inter-personal relationships in which the Holy Spirit is free to express Himself--His "natural habitat" if you will.
The above 3 simple verses speak to the nature of this Spirit-rich environment. God's will for our lives is embedded and encoded in these three apostolic injunctions and...on a basic level, His "will" is the same for us all. God's will is not, first of all, about a geography, a vocation, finding a certain set of human relations, a task to do, a gift to utilize or a ministry to accomplish. It is, rather, something within the grasp of each one of us...even if we have strayed from God's will.
We begin by stopping in our tracks and connecting with the Trinity from the depths of our hearts. I actually like to work backwards through this "trinity" of commands to again find my centered-ness in God.
1. There is always something in our lives about which to be grateful to God. Locate those things and give Him your thanks.
2. Start, or restart, your running dialog with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Relate with Him in "real time" to everything in your life--the good, the bad, the sad, the difficult, the great, the small and so on. He is the Wonderful Counselor and He will be that to us if we only invite Him to interact with us in the intimate conceptions, attitudes, motivations, meditations, musings, responses, reactions, temptations, failings and successes within our souls that no human being can perceive. In addition to "saying prayers", there is a hidden stream of prayer that is well able to run its subterranean course beneath the surface of our busy lives that are occupied with so many responsibilities, pressures and spiritual warfare. Undergirding our occupations can be a marvelous preoccupation--talking and listening to God.
3. It seems to me that the only possible way we can actually find the grace from God to always be joyful is greatly dependent upon experiencing these first two things. The essence of joy, then, must be about simply enjoying a genuine friendship with God...right in the midst of a broken and very imperfect world... right in the midst of my sorrows and griefs...and even in the face of my trials, temptations and my various failures. Could it be that God is not intimidated by these things and doesn't back off from me...as I so often would if I were He? Maybe there is such a reality in this world as being "joyful always" after all.
If the third command (in my reordered list) seems too difficult for us to reach, let's try the first two and see where they may lead us!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Freedom from Bitterness
I learned something transformational from Larry Crabb a long time ago that I have passed on to believers in every culture in which I have ministered. (I haven't been in touch with him for a long time, but I have great respect for him and his amazing contributions to the Body of Christ throughout the years. If you read this, Larry, I miss you!) I recently had the honor and opportunity to share this among some of our persecuted brothers and sisters in another land and it seemed to really impact their lives and bring them liberation. It's a simple concept about how to avoid becoming bitter in the course of living life in a fallen world. Someone has well said, "We either get bitter or better."
This concept has to do with how we either react or respond to the injustices done against us in this life and we, as believers, tend to follow a cycle when we are sinned against. First we feel hurt and angry (not necessarily wrong responses). Then we tend to evaluate that this person who has wronged us has blocked our goal. Then, as we contemplate the offense, we become embittered and resentful toward this person. Then we realize that we've become bitter and that we should not be so. So...we pray prayers to forgive them and may even go beyond this and do acts of love and kindness to overcome the evil with good. However, this is an incomplete process and does not effectively free our spirits from resentment.
The problem lies with the second step where we evaluate what has happened to us. If we believe that a human being can block the real goals of our life, then we have given human beings too much power over our souls and bitterness will become unavoidable. If, however, we view the injustices as a "blocked desire" (maybe even a powerful, prayer-filled and passionate one) then the bitterness trap can be avoided. Someone else said that "bitterness is like drinking poison and thinking that the other person is going to die!" (Shades of The Princess Bride-ha) The key then is to adopt the proper goal of life and set it squarely within the "hidden person of the heart". And that goal, in my view, should be the same for every believer...to get to know God better...to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ..or however you want to say it. Then our bitterness will melt down to the level of a disappointment and our prayers and kindnesses will serve to lift it from us over time.
This concept has to do with how we either react or respond to the injustices done against us in this life and we, as believers, tend to follow a cycle when we are sinned against. First we feel hurt and angry (not necessarily wrong responses). Then we tend to evaluate that this person who has wronged us has blocked our goal. Then, as we contemplate the offense, we become embittered and resentful toward this person. Then we realize that we've become bitter and that we should not be so. So...we pray prayers to forgive them and may even go beyond this and do acts of love and kindness to overcome the evil with good. However, this is an incomplete process and does not effectively free our spirits from resentment.
The problem lies with the second step where we evaluate what has happened to us. If we believe that a human being can block the real goals of our life, then we have given human beings too much power over our souls and bitterness will become unavoidable. If, however, we view the injustices as a "blocked desire" (maybe even a powerful, prayer-filled and passionate one) then the bitterness trap can be avoided. Someone else said that "bitterness is like drinking poison and thinking that the other person is going to die!" (Shades of The Princess Bride-ha) The key then is to adopt the proper goal of life and set it squarely within the "hidden person of the heart". And that goal, in my view, should be the same for every believer...to get to know God better...to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ..or however you want to say it. Then our bitterness will melt down to the level of a disappointment and our prayers and kindnesses will serve to lift it from us over time.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Ancient Path of Peace
One of the great joys of my life was making friends with Craig Smith. He was an up and coming contemporary Christian artist back in the day. He won a dove award and his music career was beginning to take off. However, he had such a heart for worship, evangelistic and pastoral ministry that he decided to stay home and help establish a local church ministry and to compose and then basically "give away" his recorded music all over the world as an overflow of his love for Jesus and what He had done for Craig and as a musical outreach to people who had not yet come to faith.
I have always been deeply moved by Craig's music and every variety of it--contemplative, celebratory, rock--whatever! Back around 2000, we collaborated on a project called Your Kingdom Come. Integrity Music produced the live worship CD at our church. It was all based around Craig's songs that had been inspired by the Lord's Prayer. He asked me to write a devotional book as a companion for the music and Charisma House published it. The CD and the book share that same title and cover art.
Now Craig has done it again. He has developed a website where anyone in the world can go and, at no cost, download a compilation of amazing songs that were inspired by Psalm 23. It's called Ancient Path of Peace and it was especially created to help Christian leaders connect with God in the midst of the press of intensive ministry to others. I have listened to it over and over again during quiet times and it's classic Craig Smith--songs of intimacy, gratitude, joy, faith, hope--deep rivers of divine life.
This blog is definitely overdue--I'm sorry I haven't told you about it before, but...better late than never! You can click on the site, sign in so he knows a bit about you and download the music for your personal enrichment. Enjoy and delight yourself in God and some amazing music crafted for His honor. Just hit this site: http://www.kardiamedia.com/ and follow the prompts at the bottom of the page.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
The Salt-Lick of the Earth!
I was sitting in the board meeting of Church of the Hills in Austin TX with some good friends yesterday. We were speaking about the importance of believers being a gracious and dynamic “presence” sent by God into the seven “mind molding” arenas of our cultures: government, education, business, family, church, media, and arts/entertainment. We were lamenting about how the church has too often insulated itself from our Father’s world and the people within it that He so desperately loves and for whom Jesus has offered his life.
Church leaders have called people out of the world and into the church but we have subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) resisted “sending” our fellow-members back out into the world bearing the life-transforming Life of Christ within, a life-style that is aligned and integrated with that Life and then simply shining for Christ in those obvious realms in which God has gifted and called them to serve. This problem seems so fear-based to me and fear is antithetical to the Spirit of Jesus and his love.
I have heard about the powerful witness through many years of the people of the Presbyterian church in D.C. that was once pastored by Richard Halverson. This was a church home to many influential believers strategically placed by God in government, business, education and media. He apparently taught them that salt does its job best when it is scattered, melts into the food it flavors and becomes a powerful, but often “invisible” influence. He spoke to them about the importance of many “good works” being done through them that had no apparent connection to their church name. It’s amazing what good can happen when no one cares who gets the credit!
This is, of course, not the only analogy to describe our witness. Jesus also said that we are to be a city set on a hill—and that is impossible to hide. But, Jesus did not say to us: “You are the 'salt-lick' of the earth”!
Church leaders have called people out of the world and into the church but we have subconsciously (and sometimes consciously) resisted “sending” our fellow-members back out into the world bearing the life-transforming Life of Christ within, a life-style that is aligned and integrated with that Life and then simply shining for Christ in those obvious realms in which God has gifted and called them to serve. This problem seems so fear-based to me and fear is antithetical to the Spirit of Jesus and his love.
I have heard about the powerful witness through many years of the people of the Presbyterian church in D.C. that was once pastored by Richard Halverson. This was a church home to many influential believers strategically placed by God in government, business, education and media. He apparently taught them that salt does its job best when it is scattered, melts into the food it flavors and becomes a powerful, but often “invisible” influence. He spoke to them about the importance of many “good works” being done through them that had no apparent connection to their church name. It’s amazing what good can happen when no one cares who gets the credit!
This is, of course, not the only analogy to describe our witness. Jesus also said that we are to be a city set on a hill—and that is impossible to hide. But, Jesus did not say to us: “You are the 'salt-lick' of the earth”!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Open or Secret Righteousness?
Mt 5:16 "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
Mt 6:1 "Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.
I love meditating on the Sermon on the Mount. Just think...it's the most famous sermon in the history of the entire world and...it was delivered by none other than the Prince of Life Himself, our Master Jesus. It's actually very brief and it's message penetrates to the core of the human heart and condition.
Have you ever noticed the apparent contradiction of the above two statements that are both a part of this amazing sermon? Have you ever wrestled with obeying them simultaneously? Maybe it's just the way my brain works! Anyway, I think that the contradiction is merely superficial in nature. I think they can be synthesized by applying the following concepts.
1. Beneath (on a "subterranean" level) any outward display or demonstration of our faith through "good works" (which are a natural outflow of the reality of life of Jesus within us), is a genuine interactive friendship in real-time with the Trinity in the innermost chambers of our hearts--a "secret place", if you will.
2. I believe that Peter was referring to this secret aspect of our being and relationship with God when he used the phrase, the "hidden person of the heart" (1 Pet 3:4). It is in this hidden realm where proper intentions to do good are conceived and formed in partnership with the Holy Spirit.
3. So as we determine to do some act of righteousness, we do not consider if people will notice it. We may even have the ability to keep them from knowing the source of the good--and that might be an appropriate course of action--depending on the nature of the act. We essentially do the good thing, whatever it may be, to please our Father and not "in order to be seen" by people.
4. The beautiful irony is, that when we live this way, we will not ultimately be able to hide the "light" of the good we do and...we should not be ashamed of the radiance of Christ that will inevitably shine in, around and through us. It is by this inside/out process that we allow our light to shine before men "in such a way" that they will glorify our heavenly Father...instead of them glorifying us or, even worse, as happens too often in the realm of toxic religion...us glorifying ourselves!
Mt 6:1 "Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.
I love meditating on the Sermon on the Mount. Just think...it's the most famous sermon in the history of the entire world and...it was delivered by none other than the Prince of Life Himself, our Master Jesus. It's actually very brief and it's message penetrates to the core of the human heart and condition.
Have you ever noticed the apparent contradiction of the above two statements that are both a part of this amazing sermon? Have you ever wrestled with obeying them simultaneously? Maybe it's just the way my brain works! Anyway, I think that the contradiction is merely superficial in nature. I think they can be synthesized by applying the following concepts.
1. Beneath (on a "subterranean" level) any outward display or demonstration of our faith through "good works" (which are a natural outflow of the reality of life of Jesus within us), is a genuine interactive friendship in real-time with the Trinity in the innermost chambers of our hearts--a "secret place", if you will.
2. I believe that Peter was referring to this secret aspect of our being and relationship with God when he used the phrase, the "hidden person of the heart" (1 Pet 3:4). It is in this hidden realm where proper intentions to do good are conceived and formed in partnership with the Holy Spirit.
3. So as we determine to do some act of righteousness, we do not consider if people will notice it. We may even have the ability to keep them from knowing the source of the good--and that might be an appropriate course of action--depending on the nature of the act. We essentially do the good thing, whatever it may be, to please our Father and not "in order to be seen" by people.
4. The beautiful irony is, that when we live this way, we will not ultimately be able to hide the "light" of the good we do and...we should not be ashamed of the radiance of Christ that will inevitably shine in, around and through us. It is by this inside/out process that we allow our light to shine before men "in such a way" that they will glorify our heavenly Father...instead of them glorifying us or, even worse, as happens too often in the realm of toxic religion...us glorifying ourselves!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Individuality and Community
Hi--I'm back after taking a bit of a break from writing. I wanted some time to process my dad's death in a time of quietness. Thanks for your prayers--I and my family are doing well. I am presently preparing for an important trip to an Eastern country to share the good news of our Lord and Master, Jesus. Please lift me up before the Father--that He will smile on this mission and use me as an instrument in His hand.
1 Cor 12:27
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
In this classic chapter, Paul addresses the tension of being an individual before God who is also called to be integrated with other individuals into the corporate "body" of Christ. Our local church body has included in our values' statement both "individual personhood" and "community". I'm so glad that we have done this as I believe it reflects two very important matters that reside in God's great heart for people. In fact, unity of substance and diversity of personhood is even true of the One true God! We are called by the apostles' teaching to avoid co-dependency (and the inferiority complex that is associated with it) as well as strident independence (and the superiority complex associated with it) and to rise up to a kind of healthy interdependence in our relationships with our fellow disciples of Jesus that speaks of a security in our personal identity (and the personal privileges and responsibilities that are associated with it) and also of the humility of heart that it requires to give our strengths and gifts away to build others up in the faith.
In practical terms, this means that we are called to honor and respect one another's quest to discover and do the will of God without seeking to over-control our brothers and sisters in the name of "unity" (that often looks more like uniformity!) I believe that this is the basic nature of our covenant with one another--to help each one find and do the Father's will--for His pleasure above all else.
I love to ponder the paradoxes and mysteries of the kingdom of God--I find them at the core of every central truth of Biblical faith.
1 Cor 12:27
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
In this classic chapter, Paul addresses the tension of being an individual before God who is also called to be integrated with other individuals into the corporate "body" of Christ. Our local church body has included in our values' statement both "individual personhood" and "community". I'm so glad that we have done this as I believe it reflects two very important matters that reside in God's great heart for people. In fact, unity of substance and diversity of personhood is even true of the One true God! We are called by the apostles' teaching to avoid co-dependency (and the inferiority complex that is associated with it) as well as strident independence (and the superiority complex associated with it) and to rise up to a kind of healthy interdependence in our relationships with our fellow disciples of Jesus that speaks of a security in our personal identity (and the personal privileges and responsibilities that are associated with it) and also of the humility of heart that it requires to give our strengths and gifts away to build others up in the faith.
In practical terms, this means that we are called to honor and respect one another's quest to discover and do the will of God without seeking to over-control our brothers and sisters in the name of "unity" (that often looks more like uniformity!) I believe that this is the basic nature of our covenant with one another--to help each one find and do the Father's will--for His pleasure above all else.
I love to ponder the paradoxes and mysteries of the kingdom of God--I find them at the core of every central truth of Biblical faith.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
In Celebration of Dad's Life
Celebrating the Life of
Charles Wayne Sullivant
May 27th 1925-Ausust 23rd 2007
Memorial Services
Sunday August 26th &
Wednesday August 29th 2007
“Sully”, as he was called by all his family and friends, was born in Hayti, MO to Vernon Wayne and Nina Mae (Wisdom) Sullivant. He grew up in Webster Groves, MO, a suburb of St. Louis during the depression years. He became the older brother of Colleen Wright Jendusa who preceded him in death. Sully began working hard as a small-in-stature, but big-hearted, caddie at Algonquin Country Club at age 12 and earned enough money to buy his mother her first washing machine. He loved to play golf and sandlot football as a youth and later played organized football and golf at his local high school. In his senior year he placed second in the greater St. Louis high school golf tournament.
Sully went on to study at the University of Missouri during WWII after he was turned down from serving in the Army because of deafness in his right ear that was due to a childhood illness. This was a great disappointment to him, as he desperately wanted to serve our country in that era.
It was during his years in college that he met and began to date Janice McConnell who became the love of his life. They were married in Coldwater, MI on September 5th, 1948. Coldwater, Jan’s hometown was, for many years, the summer vacation destination for the Sullivant clan as Jan’s folks, Carl and Irma McConnell, owned a cottage on Morrison Lake. Through the years, Sully and Jan became the parents of four children: Susan, Mark, Michael and Steven. Sully followed in the footsteps of Jan’s beloved father, Carl, and became a successful manager for the J. C. Penney Co. He stayed with Penney’s his whole 33-year career and retired in 1985 after managing stores in Ohio, Pennsylvania and Michigan. Sully was a diligent and wonderful provider for his wife and children, which allowed Jan to be the amazing full-time homemaker she was. In his retail management years, Sully was involved in the Rotary and Kiwanis clubs in the cities where he worked. He also continued to be an avid golfer up into his 70’s. Jan and Sully made many wonderful friends along the way and their loyalty and love for their family and friends were always a major hallmark of their character and lifestyle. Sully stayed in touch with many of his dearly loved college and career friends throughout his lifetime.
In 1971 both Sully and Jan experienced a spiritual transformation by personally encountering Jesus Christ. Sully was deeply influenced by an assistant manager named Jim Fraley who was a vivacious and infectious Christian. Jan came to faith by watching Billy Graham and reading a then popular Christian book. Their newly found faith became a new centerpiece in their personal and family lives. They became active in a local church and also in various Christian ministries throughout the years.
In 1986, Jan was diagnosed with cancer. After her initial treatment in Detroit, the Sullivant’s moved back to Columbia, MO, where they had met and fell in love. Jan’s cancer recurred and she passed away in 1989. This was a great blow to Sully’s hopes for enjoying their “golden years” together. A year after Jan’s death, Sully moved to Kansas City to be near Michael and his family where Michael served as a pastor at Metro Christian Fellowship—a church community that Sully made his home. It was in Kansas City that Sully spent his last 17 years and where he loved his way into the hearts of many people, old and young alike. He loved to read the Bible and he prayed continually for numerous people. From time to time, Sully was also able to travel to see his other children and grandchildren. In his last few years, he struggled with various health problems and his social life was severely curtailed. However, his faith in God continued to grow strong and his love for all his family (12 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren) and his many friends never flagged. Sully is to be buried next to Jan in Coldwater at Oak Grove Cemetery on August 29th at 1 in the afternoon.
The picture above is a piece of wooden art that I made as a Freshman in college. I "saw" this image in a mental picture and drew it in 30 seconds and then made it in a wood shop class. It became Dad's most cherished piece of art.
Dad's Passing
It was an amazing day--8/23/07. I just somehow knew that I needed to spend the
whole day with Dad. But for two short recesses, I was with him from
7am to the moment he died. He was working very hard all day just to
breathe, but he was not in pain and had an amazing peace about
him...grateful for his life and anticipating his transition to
heaven. He told me several times today that he was not afraid to
die...not in the least. He has longed and longed to see Jesus and my
Mom...I'm not quite sure in which order...or that it really matters!!
I trust that they both were there to greet him tonight at around
7:30pm Central time.
At about 7:10 this evening he suddenly said to me, "Tell me everything
you know about heaven." So I did...and also mentioned by name the
loved ones who would be there to welcome him. Then he asked me to
read Psalm 91 to him. Then I also read Psalm 23 and Ephesians 3. I
closed my Bible and he settled down to try and rest. I went over to
the couch in the hospital room to call Terri. In the middle of my
conversation with her, I heard him yell out, "Take me!" I thought he
was just crying out to God something like the other prayers I had
heard him groan throughout the day. I hung up the phone and leaned
back to rest. A nurse came into the room to check on him and when she
touched him, she said, "I don't feel a pulse." I got up and went over
and knew immediately that he had left his broken and weary body behind
in that bed to jump into the arms of his Heavenly Father. My Dad was
gone...my Dad is gone.
I don't feel anything like "surreal" tonight. In fact, I feel a
profound realism about it all. My Dad was good and kind to me. God
made him into a great man through his childlike faith in Jesus
Christ. My Dad loved me and loves me still. I loved him and love him
still. He prayed for me and my sibs and all of our kids every day
since his retirement. And...God selected me and my family to have
the honor of being with him in his golden years of life (from 1990 to
2007) here in Kansas City after the passing of my Mother. They are
now reunited in the presence of the Holy Trinity and the heavenly
hosts. I'm sure that I will have my moments of sorrow, but tonight I
am more deeply moved by gratitude for and a celebration of his life.
whole day with Dad. But for two short recesses, I was with him from
7am to the moment he died. He was working very hard all day just to
breathe, but he was not in pain and had an amazing peace about
him...grateful for his life and anticipating his transition to
heaven. He told me several times today that he was not afraid to
die...not in the least. He has longed and longed to see Jesus and my
Mom...I'm not quite sure in which order...or that it really matters!!
I trust that they both were there to greet him tonight at around
7:30pm Central time.
At about 7:10 this evening he suddenly said to me, "Tell me everything
you know about heaven." So I did...and also mentioned by name the
loved ones who would be there to welcome him. Then he asked me to
read Psalm 91 to him. Then I also read Psalm 23 and Ephesians 3. I
closed my Bible and he settled down to try and rest. I went over to
the couch in the hospital room to call Terri. In the middle of my
conversation with her, I heard him yell out, "Take me!" I thought he
was just crying out to God something like the other prayers I had
heard him groan throughout the day. I hung up the phone and leaned
back to rest. A nurse came into the room to check on him and when she
touched him, she said, "I don't feel a pulse." I got up and went over
and knew immediately that he had left his broken and weary body behind
in that bed to jump into the arms of his Heavenly Father. My Dad was
gone...my Dad is gone.
I don't feel anything like "surreal" tonight. In fact, I feel a
profound realism about it all. My Dad was good and kind to me. God
made him into a great man through his childlike faith in Jesus
Christ. My Dad loved me and loves me still. I loved him and love him
still. He prayed for me and my sibs and all of our kids every day
since his retirement. And...God selected me and my family to have
the honor of being with him in his golden years of life (from 1990 to
2007) here in Kansas City after the passing of my Mother. They are
now reunited in the presence of the Holy Trinity and the heavenly
hosts. I'm sure that I will have my moments of sorrow, but tonight I
am more deeply moved by gratitude for and a celebration of his life.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Sam's Story
The following is a account of my son, Sam's, experience of a "small miracle" that happened on a mission trip when he was 15. Sam is now 23 and recently married Caitlin Merwin on July 1st. This is an example of the kind of "spiritual branding" I referred to in my last blog that regularly mark young teens when they step out of their comfort zone of home and family to share their faith cross-culturally. Michael
The summer before my freshman year in high school, I applied with the youth group to go on a mission trip to Juarez, Mexico. We were all very excited about the trip, and I had a mixture of excitement and nerves. I remember feeling the desire to hear God, and feel his presence before we went on the two-week trip. I remember being at church and looking at some pictures on a bulletin board of when others from the church had gone to Mexico before. I got really excited and as I looked closer at a group picture, a young Mexican boy wearing a red soccer shirt stood out to me. Suddenly, I heard the name “Alejandro” inside of my head, it freaked me out. I wondered if it was God and if I’d meet a boy named Alejandro… I ruled it out as I usually would, thinking that it was just my own mental creation. A day or two later, however, I was lying in my bed at night with my eyes closed. As I was trickling into sleep, I had a mental picture of a silhouette of a young Mexican boy. As the image became clear, I noticed that he had a red soccer shirt on. Again suddenly, I heard the name “Alejandro” inside of my head. I woke from my vision feeling all of this love and compassion for this boy that I didn’t even know. Regardless, I wanted to meet him. I wanted to share my heart with him. Of course I doubted the experience again, but just in case, I wrote it down in my little moleskin journal (which I still have by the way).
Life moved on in my 15-year-old world, and our team was eventually off to Colorado to train for the trip for a week and then down to Mexico for the second week. What an awesome experience! I remember feeling completely outside of my little world, and it was so much fun. I got to meet new people, share life with them, and hang out with my best friends in the mean time. I had pretty much given up on the whole “Alejandro” experience, and so had kept it to myself and “put it on the shelf”...as my parent’s would say. I thought that either way, I am having a great time and getting to experience all of this fun stuff. Towards the end of the week in Mexico, I started to wonder if I would ever meet “this” boy. In my heart, I wanted to, but I did not want to deal with the disappointment of thinking I had heard the Lord, but not actually having heard him. It seemed safer not to want it, but I couldn’t shake it. I still wanted it.
Our last day in the mission compound, a friend and I were sitting up on a boundary wall right next door to some local residences. We looked over into a back yard and noticed a young boy walking up to us. We motioned for him to come and talk to us. He climbed up a dirt mound so we could speak eye-to-eye. With the little Spanish I knew, I said hello and asked him how he was doing. I told him my name and then asked him his. He said, “Alejandro”… It took a second for me to realize what he said, and asked him again to clarify. He said, “Alejandro!” All of the sudden it registered. I looked at his shirt, and he was wearing a red, YMCA soccer shirt. I was blown away with awe and excitement. I didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t say much anyway. But all of this love filled my heart, so I read him a scripture in Spanish and gave him my sandals, it was the least that I could do. I wanted him to know that he had a destiny and purpose in life, but all I could ultimately share with him was eye contact. I don’t think I will ever forget his eyes. I still occasionally pray for him, that God would meet him wherever he is. I still don’t understand why God allowed that to happen for Alejandro. For all I know, we looked like goofy Americans. I know that God did allow that to happen for me. I really heard God, it was real I knew it and I couldn’t make it up! I spent the rest of that night worshiping God and pouring out my heart to him. He spoke to me, an unsure and insecure 15-year-old… I feel his pride and love even now as I reflect on the experience.
-sam
The summer before my freshman year in high school, I applied with the youth group to go on a mission trip to Juarez, Mexico. We were all very excited about the trip, and I had a mixture of excitement and nerves. I remember feeling the desire to hear God, and feel his presence before we went on the two-week trip. I remember being at church and looking at some pictures on a bulletin board of when others from the church had gone to Mexico before. I got really excited and as I looked closer at a group picture, a young Mexican boy wearing a red soccer shirt stood out to me. Suddenly, I heard the name “Alejandro” inside of my head, it freaked me out. I wondered if it was God and if I’d meet a boy named Alejandro… I ruled it out as I usually would, thinking that it was just my own mental creation. A day or two later, however, I was lying in my bed at night with my eyes closed. As I was trickling into sleep, I had a mental picture of a silhouette of a young Mexican boy. As the image became clear, I noticed that he had a red soccer shirt on. Again suddenly, I heard the name “Alejandro” inside of my head. I woke from my vision feeling all of this love and compassion for this boy that I didn’t even know. Regardless, I wanted to meet him. I wanted to share my heart with him. Of course I doubted the experience again, but just in case, I wrote it down in my little moleskin journal (which I still have by the way).
Life moved on in my 15-year-old world, and our team was eventually off to Colorado to train for the trip for a week and then down to Mexico for the second week. What an awesome experience! I remember feeling completely outside of my little world, and it was so much fun. I got to meet new people, share life with them, and hang out with my best friends in the mean time. I had pretty much given up on the whole “Alejandro” experience, and so had kept it to myself and “put it on the shelf”...as my parent’s would say. I thought that either way, I am having a great time and getting to experience all of this fun stuff. Towards the end of the week in Mexico, I started to wonder if I would ever meet “this” boy. In my heart, I wanted to, but I did not want to deal with the disappointment of thinking I had heard the Lord, but not actually having heard him. It seemed safer not to want it, but I couldn’t shake it. I still wanted it.
Our last day in the mission compound, a friend and I were sitting up on a boundary wall right next door to some local residences. We looked over into a back yard and noticed a young boy walking up to us. We motioned for him to come and talk to us. He climbed up a dirt mound so we could speak eye-to-eye. With the little Spanish I knew, I said hello and asked him how he was doing. I told him my name and then asked him his. He said, “Alejandro”… It took a second for me to realize what he said, and asked him again to clarify. He said, “Alejandro!” All of the sudden it registered. I looked at his shirt, and he was wearing a red, YMCA soccer shirt. I was blown away with awe and excitement. I didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t say much anyway. But all of this love filled my heart, so I read him a scripture in Spanish and gave him my sandals, it was the least that I could do. I wanted him to know that he had a destiny and purpose in life, but all I could ultimately share with him was eye contact. I don’t think I will ever forget his eyes. I still occasionally pray for him, that God would meet him wherever he is. I still don’t understand why God allowed that to happen for Alejandro. For all I know, we looked like goofy Americans. I know that God did allow that to happen for me. I really heard God, it was real I knew it and I couldn’t make it up! I spent the rest of that night worshiping God and pouring out my heart to him. He spoke to me, an unsure and insecure 15-year-old… I feel his pride and love even now as I reflect on the experience.
-sam
Friday, August 3, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Fourteen
Early teen years seem to me to be some of the most challenging years for the spiritual lives of children. It's important to remember that their brains are not fully developed even though, for many of them, their bodies are looking more and more adult. (Are kids maturing physically at younger ages these days...it sure seems that way to me...must be the hormones in the milk and meat!) This is a phase of life in which the changes evoke a powerful temptation for them to feel insecure and to continually compare themselves to their peers. Plus...their normal drive to individuate from their parents is gaining strength, so they often don't feel inclined to lean into the love and support of their folks regarding this inner struggle.
I have seen some kids sail through this time...physically taxing activities are a healthy and good outlet for some of this angst. If a young teen can find an extra-curricular positive challenge that they enjoy, it can really help relieve a lot of inner pressure...music, sports, dance, theater, summer camps...these things can teach them many values and skills that will translate well into the responsibilities of adult life. A wise, loving and fun-filled youth group, whose leaders validate the challenge and journey of each kid, can also become a haven for them and create a healthy distance from their parents direct oversight. Hillary isn't all wrong when she says that "it takes a village to raise a child"...our children need spiritual "aunts and uncles" and older and younger "brothers and sisters," as well as their parents, to become well rounded individuals.
However, there is one thing that we discovered that helped and impacted spiritually our young teens more than anything else. This thing ended up being worth more than a thousand Sunday School lessons or a hundred youth retreats...in terms of helping them get into a better spiritual frame. This thing is a "mission trip" away from the comfort zone of home in order to love and serve hurting people from another culture and...that involves elements of rigor, adventure, prayer and risk. To see, touch, serve, love and share Jesus with people, old and young, who have such difficult daily lives and, who are often terribly oppressed, leaves a lasting imprint on a tender young teenage heart--especially if she/he fell in love with Jesus as a little child. (They will also often see the astounding difference that Christ has made in the lives of some of the local people who live in those same conditions. Sometimes they also see "real time" miraculous answers to their prayers. The next Radius blog is written by my son, Sam. It's the story of a "miraculous event" that happened around him on a mission trip to Mexico when he was 15.) This kind of experience exerts, by nature, a gravitational pull on a young teen's soul away from their self-absorption and will often cause him/her to feel more alive than they ever have in their life.
Through the years, I've watched 100's of kids return from such trips marked and branded with the vivid memories and experiences with God that they do not easily shake off or deny. They return with a different and deeper kind of spiritual encounter than what they regularly experience on a fun-filled youth retreat...for which there is also a proper place and purpose. Encourage young teens you know to sign up for such a short-term trip. They have become commonplace, thank the Lord, in church communities all over the world. It's an investment that has truly amazing returns on many levels.
I have seen some kids sail through this time...physically taxing activities are a healthy and good outlet for some of this angst. If a young teen can find an extra-curricular positive challenge that they enjoy, it can really help relieve a lot of inner pressure...music, sports, dance, theater, summer camps...these things can teach them many values and skills that will translate well into the responsibilities of adult life. A wise, loving and fun-filled youth group, whose leaders validate the challenge and journey of each kid, can also become a haven for them and create a healthy distance from their parents direct oversight. Hillary isn't all wrong when she says that "it takes a village to raise a child"...our children need spiritual "aunts and uncles" and older and younger "brothers and sisters," as well as their parents, to become well rounded individuals.
However, there is one thing that we discovered that helped and impacted spiritually our young teens more than anything else. This thing ended up being worth more than a thousand Sunday School lessons or a hundred youth retreats...in terms of helping them get into a better spiritual frame. This thing is a "mission trip" away from the comfort zone of home in order to love and serve hurting people from another culture and...that involves elements of rigor, adventure, prayer and risk. To see, touch, serve, love and share Jesus with people, old and young, who have such difficult daily lives and, who are often terribly oppressed, leaves a lasting imprint on a tender young teenage heart--especially if she/he fell in love with Jesus as a little child. (They will also often see the astounding difference that Christ has made in the lives of some of the local people who live in those same conditions. Sometimes they also see "real time" miraculous answers to their prayers. The next Radius blog is written by my son, Sam. It's the story of a "miraculous event" that happened around him on a mission trip to Mexico when he was 15.) This kind of experience exerts, by nature, a gravitational pull on a young teen's soul away from their self-absorption and will often cause him/her to feel more alive than they ever have in their life.
Through the years, I've watched 100's of kids return from such trips marked and branded with the vivid memories and experiences with God that they do not easily shake off or deny. They return with a different and deeper kind of spiritual encounter than what they regularly experience on a fun-filled youth retreat...for which there is also a proper place and purpose. Encourage young teens you know to sign up for such a short-term trip. They have become commonplace, thank the Lord, in church communities all over the world. It's an investment that has truly amazing returns on many levels.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Thirteen
I remember a time when Luke was in his mid-teens that he asked us for permission to attend his first "secular" rock concert with some of his friends. He had earned our trust over and over again through his growing up years and I distinctly recall the intuitive impression, in that particular moment, that this decision, and how it would be made, was somehow critical in our developing relationship. Terri and I had bought into the concept that it was important to extend to our children progressive freedoms and opportunities to make some choices and take some risks that were not necessarily our preferences for them. And...that they would experience this liberty while they were still living at home...even if it was a mistake...of the "non-life threatening" sort, of course. The "rubber was hitting the road" and testing this conviction that day.
We were conscious that, in short order, our teenage kids would be out from under our roof and would then be confronted with an amazing degree of freedom and we didn't want that dynamic to be overly shocking to their systems. (Through the years, we both had seen really good kids "go crazy" after suddenly leaving home environments where they had been "hovered over" by fearful and overly-strict parents.) We wanted them to cultivate their personal conscience before God, who is the only Person who sees us and is with us 24/7. The ironic thing about the extra-biblical taboos that religious groups often develop and impose, it that they, in the end, actually stunt the growth of personal conscience rather than strengthen it. We all know that our faith is not essentially a "code" or a long list of "do's and don't's", but a vulnerable and personal relationship with a Friend who indwells us...as well as with One who dwells in the transcendent and eternal beauties of deep heaven. There are appropriate times to allow our growing children to sharpen their judgment, discernment and conscience by exercising their gift of choice in the sight of God and not in the "sight" of their parents. They need to be confronted by and discover for themselves that God is a "living" God who hears their cries for help, delivers them from temptation and provides direction. If they would fail to make wise judgments in this environment, then loving parents would be there, on the scene, to help, counsel and even restore them in the aftermath.
It turned out that we gave Luke the freedom to make his own choice that day, even though we let him know that we weren't excited about him going. (I can't remember who the band was or why we didn't really endorse the event.) He did go and it didn't harm a thing! There were other similar situations after that, when he chose to lean into our advice...but he really appreciated the freedom we bestowed on him and, I believe, respected us all the more as a result. Great relationships are always built on trust, affection and respect. In the end, God has used Luke's exposure to all kinds of music to enhance and develop his own musical talents and he is now a professional guitarist, recording artist, producer and teacher of the craft. He also married a professional musician and vocalist, Rebekah, and they are both quite "hot"--no parental hype! They recently collaborated on and produced a wonderful lullaby CD entitled, Little Lambs and Lullabies. You can check it out at: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=98191325
We were conscious that, in short order, our teenage kids would be out from under our roof and would then be confronted with an amazing degree of freedom and we didn't want that dynamic to be overly shocking to their systems. (Through the years, we both had seen really good kids "go crazy" after suddenly leaving home environments where they had been "hovered over" by fearful and overly-strict parents.) We wanted them to cultivate their personal conscience before God, who is the only Person who sees us and is with us 24/7. The ironic thing about the extra-biblical taboos that religious groups often develop and impose, it that they, in the end, actually stunt the growth of personal conscience rather than strengthen it. We all know that our faith is not essentially a "code" or a long list of "do's and don't's", but a vulnerable and personal relationship with a Friend who indwells us...as well as with One who dwells in the transcendent and eternal beauties of deep heaven. There are appropriate times to allow our growing children to sharpen their judgment, discernment and conscience by exercising their gift of choice in the sight of God and not in the "sight" of their parents. They need to be confronted by and discover for themselves that God is a "living" God who hears their cries for help, delivers them from temptation and provides direction. If they would fail to make wise judgments in this environment, then loving parents would be there, on the scene, to help, counsel and even restore them in the aftermath.
It turned out that we gave Luke the freedom to make his own choice that day, even though we let him know that we weren't excited about him going. (I can't remember who the band was or why we didn't really endorse the event.) He did go and it didn't harm a thing! There were other similar situations after that, when he chose to lean into our advice...but he really appreciated the freedom we bestowed on him and, I believe, respected us all the more as a result. Great relationships are always built on trust, affection and respect. In the end, God has used Luke's exposure to all kinds of music to enhance and develop his own musical talents and he is now a professional guitarist, recording artist, producer and teacher of the craft. He also married a professional musician and vocalist, Rebekah, and they are both quite "hot"--no parental hype! They recently collaborated on and produced a wonderful lullaby CD entitled, Little Lambs and Lullabies. You can check it out at: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=98191325
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Twelve
Some of Terri's and my greatest hopes and heart-felt prayers for our oldest three children (Luke, Lisa and Sam) have been met and answered by our heavenly Father in a most gratifying way. As they entered into their serious dating relationships with the three people who would ultimately become their spouses (Rebekah, James and Caitlin), they welcomed us (and the other sets of parents too) into their romantic journey's in a very meaningful way. What a mind-blowing honor that has been. They sought out our counsel and advice, they prayed with us, they were humble, vulnerable and transparent with us about their romantic growing pains and they shared with us their relational joys and triumphs. What more could parents ask for?
As a result, each couple now has the wholehearted support and blessing of both sets of their parents and all the good will and relational resources in the extended family that have naturally flowed back to them. All of the parents involved (the Swift's, the Hoskins' and the Merwin's) know what a blessing this is from God and do not take credit for this. We all know great parents who have not experienced this particular blessing. I guess all of us get our "special kisses" from the Father. On our end, I do think back on how our kids substantially "bought into" our philosophy of how to engage in and pace a potentially romantic relationship long before the "real one" came along--not that there weren't any bumps in the road for them.
Today, I'm thinking back on how James and Lisa approached their romance with intention and principle, at every stage...from a special mutual attraction...to getting to know the other as friends...to deliberately entering into a year-long "steady" relationship to see if there might be a future together...to James asking me if he could ask Lisa to marry him with my blessing...to a joy-filled six month engagement...to their walking down the aisle to say "I do, 'till death parts us" on a extremely romantic snowy night last January. They did this with a wonderful and graceful cadence that was full of divine rhythm and endorsement at every turn. (Luke & Beka and Sam & Cait have similar love stories to tell.) How glad they all are now that they embraced the loving wisdom and disciplines of Christ's ways and kingdom that initiate, govern and guard healthy romances and happy marriages.
Now we only have two sons left to "marry off"...but not yet! Say some prayers for us and we will for you.
Following is a excerpt from an email James Hoskins, our son-in-law sent out yesterday. Maybe you'd enjoy seeing some of the stuff he's been writing and an interview with him on a recent podcast.
"On that same note, I have been doing more writing in the Philosophy of Science area; particularly concerning the "evolution vs. intelligent design" debate. The website that featured my story "Confession" a few months back has asked me to become a regular writer/blogger for them. You can read two other things I've written for them since then here http://www.arn.org/_idarts/wordpress/. In addition to that, the Discovery Institute, a think-tank based out of Seattle, interviewed me for their weekly podcast on Intelligent Design. You can listen to the interview here http://www.idthefuture.com/. I felt greatly honored (and a bit out of place) to be given that opportunity since they usually interview only scientists and doctors."
As a result, each couple now has the wholehearted support and blessing of both sets of their parents and all the good will and relational resources in the extended family that have naturally flowed back to them. All of the parents involved (the Swift's, the Hoskins' and the Merwin's) know what a blessing this is from God and do not take credit for this. We all know great parents who have not experienced this particular blessing. I guess all of us get our "special kisses" from the Father. On our end, I do think back on how our kids substantially "bought into" our philosophy of how to engage in and pace a potentially romantic relationship long before the "real one" came along--not that there weren't any bumps in the road for them.
Today, I'm thinking back on how James and Lisa approached their romance with intention and principle, at every stage...from a special mutual attraction...to getting to know the other as friends...to deliberately entering into a year-long "steady" relationship to see if there might be a future together...to James asking me if he could ask Lisa to marry him with my blessing...to a joy-filled six month engagement...to their walking down the aisle to say "I do, 'till death parts us" on a extremely romantic snowy night last January. They did this with a wonderful and graceful cadence that was full of divine rhythm and endorsement at every turn. (Luke & Beka and Sam & Cait have similar love stories to tell.) How glad they all are now that they embraced the loving wisdom and disciplines of Christ's ways and kingdom that initiate, govern and guard healthy romances and happy marriages.
Now we only have two sons left to "marry off"...but not yet! Say some prayers for us and we will for you.
Following is a excerpt from an email James Hoskins, our son-in-law sent out yesterday. Maybe you'd enjoy seeing some of the stuff he's been writing and an interview with him on a recent podcast.
"On that same note, I have been doing more writing in the Philosophy of Science area; particularly concerning the "evolution vs. intelligent design" debate. The website that featured my story "Confession" a few months back has asked me to become a regular writer/blogger for them. You can read two other things I've written for them since then here http://www.arn.org/_idarts/wordpress/. In addition to that, the Discovery Institute, a think-tank based out of Seattle, interviewed me for their weekly podcast on Intelligent Design. You can listen to the interview here http://www.idthefuture.com/. I felt greatly honored (and a bit out of place) to be given that opportunity since they usually interview only scientists and doctors."
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Eleven
Alright...what are the three mysterious T's! They are very simple observations of how people of the opposite sex (or the same sex for that matter) bond with one another. They are: Time, Talking and Touching. I have watched the romantic journey's of many younger and older people alike through over thirty years of pastoral ministry and the three T's are always primary operative dynamics within these relationships.
Before I say more about them, I have to begin by saying that we spoke with our kids about the naturalness and normalcy (because of the way that God has designed us) of having "romantic attractions" to the opposite sex--sometimes even from very young ages. I was smitten by Dale Evans as a 5 year old even though she was married to Roy Rodgers! (Her granddaughter, Mindy Peterson, became a friend of ours before Dale passed away and Mindy told her about my childhood crush on her and Dale gave me a signed copy of one of her books. :-) We spoke with our children not to be embarrassed about these feelings (even though they still struggled with this), but to acknowledge them without shame. I explained to them that we are capable of having romantic attractions toward any number of people along our way in life. The challenge is not to repress these feelings, but to "steward" and "process" them well in the sight of God and people. It's what we do with such emotions and attractions that will make the difference between failure and success in our honoring of God, parents and others. Once they "bought into" and "personally internalized" the reality that they were unwilling and unable to pursue a "serious" romantic relationship in their youth, it was a manageable step for them to intentionally plan and discipline themselves to "keep it cool," romantically speaking, in their early teen and even into their twenty-something years.
People bond romantically to others by engaging in the three T's. They spend time together (especially by being together for long hours in private or semi-private situations). They talk at length directly to one another about the deeper and deepest contents of their hearts--even spiritual things. And...they touch one another in affectionate or intimate ways. The simple and obvious plan for slowing down and/or pacing a romantic relationship, until the proper time for engagement and marriage has come, is to place deliberate limits and boundaries on relating to another person in these specific ways. So to answer my kids' question about how to get a plan to "not fall in love" until they wanted to and to maintain their sexual purity, I was able, (thus far!) to help them in a concrete and practical fashion.
It's amazing to see how both unmarried and married people (emotional affairs almost always precede sexual ones) often plunge headlong into relating to someone of the opposite sex, who is not yet, or not, their spouse, engage in these bonding behaviors without any apparent conscious intention to "fall in love" with them and then be surprised that shortly they, and/or the other person, has "fallen head over heels in love"--hello! A lot of young teens pretend that they're seriously committed to their boyfriend/girlfriend so they can feel better about acting like they're going to be married one day. People also often play head games with themselves or others and are simply lying to themselves and/or another about their deeper motives and desires.
There are a lot of sexual brokenness and unhealthy basic identity issues present in the vast populace of our family-fragmented culture. Our families and churches (extended spiritual families--large or small) must become equipped to bring the healing and restoring power of Jesus Christ into the broken hearts of our children and fellow believers to bring some sanity and joy back into an over-sexed and "boundary-less" society that is now reaping the fruit of relational paradoxes and confusion that have been sown by the seeds of deliberate deviation from both common sense and the wisdom of the Scriptures.
A good place for us to begin is by consistently and gracefully influencing our children into the winsome ways of Jesus--the Prince of Life.
Before I say more about them, I have to begin by saying that we spoke with our kids about the naturalness and normalcy (because of the way that God has designed us) of having "romantic attractions" to the opposite sex--sometimes even from very young ages. I was smitten by Dale Evans as a 5 year old even though she was married to Roy Rodgers! (Her granddaughter, Mindy Peterson, became a friend of ours before Dale passed away and Mindy told her about my childhood crush on her and Dale gave me a signed copy of one of her books. :-) We spoke with our children not to be embarrassed about these feelings (even though they still struggled with this), but to acknowledge them without shame. I explained to them that we are capable of having romantic attractions toward any number of people along our way in life. The challenge is not to repress these feelings, but to "steward" and "process" them well in the sight of God and people. It's what we do with such emotions and attractions that will make the difference between failure and success in our honoring of God, parents and others. Once they "bought into" and "personally internalized" the reality that they were unwilling and unable to pursue a "serious" romantic relationship in their youth, it was a manageable step for them to intentionally plan and discipline themselves to "keep it cool," romantically speaking, in their early teen and even into their twenty-something years.
People bond romantically to others by engaging in the three T's. They spend time together (especially by being together for long hours in private or semi-private situations). They talk at length directly to one another about the deeper and deepest contents of their hearts--even spiritual things. And...they touch one another in affectionate or intimate ways. The simple and obvious plan for slowing down and/or pacing a romantic relationship, until the proper time for engagement and marriage has come, is to place deliberate limits and boundaries on relating to another person in these specific ways. So to answer my kids' question about how to get a plan to "not fall in love" until they wanted to and to maintain their sexual purity, I was able, (thus far!) to help them in a concrete and practical fashion.
It's amazing to see how both unmarried and married people (emotional affairs almost always precede sexual ones) often plunge headlong into relating to someone of the opposite sex, who is not yet, or not, their spouse, engage in these bonding behaviors without any apparent conscious intention to "fall in love" with them and then be surprised that shortly they, and/or the other person, has "fallen head over heels in love"--hello! A lot of young teens pretend that they're seriously committed to their boyfriend/girlfriend so they can feel better about acting like they're going to be married one day. People also often play head games with themselves or others and are simply lying to themselves and/or another about their deeper motives and desires.
There are a lot of sexual brokenness and unhealthy basic identity issues present in the vast populace of our family-fragmented culture. Our families and churches (extended spiritual families--large or small) must become equipped to bring the healing and restoring power of Jesus Christ into the broken hearts of our children and fellow believers to bring some sanity and joy back into an over-sexed and "boundary-less" society that is now reaping the fruit of relational paradoxes and confusion that have been sown by the seeds of deliberate deviation from both common sense and the wisdom of the Scriptures.
A good place for us to begin is by consistently and gracefully influencing our children into the winsome ways of Jesus--the Prince of Life.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Ten
The "Three T's" are rather infamous in our family history. They relate to a teaching and a tract on romance that I wrote and taught to young people in our church community through the years. Of course, as my kids got older I also "shopped" the ideas out to them too...I couldn't resist! I remember asking each of my early teenage kids some very penetrating questions.
The personal conversations would typically go something like this:
"Hey...(Luke, Lisa, Sam, Mike or Steve)...do you want to fall in love with someone when you're 15?"
The boys definitely said, "No way, Dad!" So did Lisa.
"How about 16?"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Come on, Dad, that's too young to fall in love. I wouldn't be ready to get married at that age...or even engaged. There are too many things to do before I would be ready for being 'in love' for real."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely." (Then a strategic break in the conversation would typically occur.)
"So...do you also want to be a virgin when you get married?" (The angst would always rise a bit at this point!)
"Uh...yea..sure..of course I do."
"Why?"
"Come on Dad! Because...like you've taught us before...sex is a special and powerful gift that is protected by marriage...like keeping something valuable in a safe until you're ready to use it for the right time and purpose...do we have to talk about this???"
"Just a little longer. I just wanted to know what your plan is for not falling in love until you want to and for keeping your gift of sex in it's safe place until you're married."
"What...I need a plan?"
"I think so."
"Why?"
"Because people, even really young people, 'fall in love' very quickly and easily without even trying...or at least act like they have...and many of them lose their virginity long before they're ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage and family. In fact, most of the people in the culture around us don't think it's realistic for a young person to remain a virgin until they're married."
"Wow, Dad. I guess I've never thought about like this before."
"Well...that's why I asked." (Pregnant pauses were normal at this point in the conversation.)
"So Dad."
"Yes?"
"How can I get a plan to 'not fall in love' or 'have sex' until the right time?"
"I'm so glad you've asked! It revolves around three T's."
"What are the "three T's?"
"I'll tell you about them in our next talk!"
"Daaad.......!"
The personal conversations would typically go something like this:
"Hey...(Luke, Lisa, Sam, Mike or Steve)...do you want to fall in love with someone when you're 15?"
The boys definitely said, "No way, Dad!" So did Lisa.
"How about 16?"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"Come on, Dad, that's too young to fall in love. I wouldn't be ready to get married at that age...or even engaged. There are too many things to do before I would be ready for being 'in love' for real."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely." (Then a strategic break in the conversation would typically occur.)
"So...do you also want to be a virgin when you get married?" (The angst would always rise a bit at this point!)
"Uh...yea..sure..of course I do."
"Why?"
"Come on Dad! Because...like you've taught us before...sex is a special and powerful gift that is protected by marriage...like keeping something valuable in a safe until you're ready to use it for the right time and purpose...do we have to talk about this???"
"Just a little longer. I just wanted to know what your plan is for not falling in love until you want to and for keeping your gift of sex in it's safe place until you're married."
"What...I need a plan?"
"I think so."
"Why?"
"Because people, even really young people, 'fall in love' very quickly and easily without even trying...or at least act like they have...and many of them lose their virginity long before they're ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage and family. In fact, most of the people in the culture around us don't think it's realistic for a young person to remain a virgin until they're married."
"Wow, Dad. I guess I've never thought about like this before."
"Well...that's why I asked." (Pregnant pauses were normal at this point in the conversation.)
"So Dad."
"Yes?"
"How can I get a plan to 'not fall in love' or 'have sex' until the right time?"
"I'm so glad you've asked! It revolves around three T's."
"What are the "three T's?"
"I'll tell you about them in our next talk!"
"Daaad.......!"
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Nine
When adolescence arrives, cognitive development in the brain and the drive to individuate from parents (and their teachings) merge and often cause a young person to seriously question their childhood belief in and their experiences with the Almighty. What once were mysteries about God and His universe that stimulated and stirred their hearts as little children can become seemingly irresolvable unreasonable concepts to their active and inquiring minds. This is especially true as they experience and observe more injustices in our broken world and also more serious disappointments in life.
I believe that this struggle can be a very important and even, vital, part of their larger spiritual journey over a lifetime. I have heard that if one tries to help a butterfly out of it's cocoon out of compassion for it's struggle, one can actually seal it's premature death. The given reason for this is that the butterfly's wings develop the necessary strength for them to function properly in "flight" though it's "fight" to emerge from the cocoon.
I remember speaking to my kids about the possibility of doubts that they might encounter as they transitioned into young adulthood. (Terri and I were careful to assure them that we were not worried about them "keeping up an image" of spirituality or perfection because their Daddy was a minister. There was enough of this pressure that just "came with the territory" without us adding any extra weight to it. We tried to communicate to them that we were infinitely more concerned about their journey as children of God.)
This then is the kind of advice that I gave them.
"Try not to freak out if doubts about spiritual things begin to rise up in your hearts--this is very normal. Many great Christians before you have gone through such soul searching. Please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed if this happens. Also know that we are here for you to listen to your heart anytime you want to talk about such troubling feelings and/or questions. We will never lay a guilt trip on you because of these things. Jesus said, 'ask (and keep on asking) and you will receive.' There are answers to be found for the most difficult questions that may initially seem absolutely unanswerable to you. Any question or doubt that you can ever imagine has already been asked by many before you--so you're not alone. And...a lot of very highly educated and brilliant people are dedicated believers in Jesus and the Scriptures and have even written books about such questions and the answers they discovered in their struggle."
"When you were little everything was very simplistic, but there is a simple and refined wisdom that can only come on the heels of working through complexity. God 'plays hide and seek' with humanity and He loves to play and then lose the 'game'...just like I did when I first started playing hide and seek with you as a toddler! It's all for 'love's sake'...to create the tension of apparent loss and the joy and passion of personal experiential discovery. God is very secure in His reality (His name is 'I AM'!) and can absorb any blows of doubt you may sincerely land on His massive chest in your struggle and frustration. Pour your heart out to Him--even the writers of the Scriptures did this--He is not offended by this."
"And finally, (after I heard and applied the wise advice of my dear older brother in Christ, John Gilman) no matter what, don't give up on love. If you find true love...and receive it and give it back...you will ultimately find God because God is Love."
I believe that this struggle can be a very important and even, vital, part of their larger spiritual journey over a lifetime. I have heard that if one tries to help a butterfly out of it's cocoon out of compassion for it's struggle, one can actually seal it's premature death. The given reason for this is that the butterfly's wings develop the necessary strength for them to function properly in "flight" though it's "fight" to emerge from the cocoon.
I remember speaking to my kids about the possibility of doubts that they might encounter as they transitioned into young adulthood. (Terri and I were careful to assure them that we were not worried about them "keeping up an image" of spirituality or perfection because their Daddy was a minister. There was enough of this pressure that just "came with the territory" without us adding any extra weight to it. We tried to communicate to them that we were infinitely more concerned about their journey as children of God.)
This then is the kind of advice that I gave them.
"Try not to freak out if doubts about spiritual things begin to rise up in your hearts--this is very normal. Many great Christians before you have gone through such soul searching. Please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed if this happens. Also know that we are here for you to listen to your heart anytime you want to talk about such troubling feelings and/or questions. We will never lay a guilt trip on you because of these things. Jesus said, 'ask (and keep on asking) and you will receive.' There are answers to be found for the most difficult questions that may initially seem absolutely unanswerable to you. Any question or doubt that you can ever imagine has already been asked by many before you--so you're not alone. And...a lot of very highly educated and brilliant people are dedicated believers in Jesus and the Scriptures and have even written books about such questions and the answers they discovered in their struggle."
"When you were little everything was very simplistic, but there is a simple and refined wisdom that can only come on the heels of working through complexity. God 'plays hide and seek' with humanity and He loves to play and then lose the 'game'...just like I did when I first started playing hide and seek with you as a toddler! It's all for 'love's sake'...to create the tension of apparent loss and the joy and passion of personal experiential discovery. God is very secure in His reality (His name is 'I AM'!) and can absorb any blows of doubt you may sincerely land on His massive chest in your struggle and frustration. Pour your heart out to Him--even the writers of the Scriptures did this--He is not offended by this."
"And finally, (after I heard and applied the wise advice of my dear older brother in Christ, John Gilman) no matter what, don't give up on love. If you find true love...and receive it and give it back...you will ultimately find God because God is Love."
Friday, July 13, 2007
Life Lessons as a Dad--Lesson Eight
[The picture above is of our kids at Christmas '05: Luke, Steve, Rebekah (Luke's wife), Sam in back and Mike and Lisa in front. Lisa's husband, James, and Sam's wife, Caitlin, hadn't come along yet. And of course...Steve is massive now!]The next stage of our kids growth that often holds a critical spiritual turning point for them is when they are going through puberty.
Here they begin their "individuation" process and often experience doubts about the faith of their early childhood (and the faith "handed" to them by their parents!) as they become more capable of abstract thinking and peer influence begins to exert itself. These changes actually set the stage for a deeper commitment to Jesus and His kingdom to emerge in their lives...if we have eyes to see it and trust the Lord as we journey boldly with them into adolescence.
In my experience, the "youth" of every generation look for some ways to distinguish themselves from the older generation...and that youth culture will certainly find our kids...is that an understatement or what?! Parents need to be careful not to over-react to such a tendency in their teenage children by over-protecting them from being exposed to the reality of the "youth culture" in the world around them. Knee-jerk reactions can really hurt the parent/child connection that God Himself is testing and developing. Even that great apostle Paul confessed, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." (1 Cor 13:11-12) I recommend that parents find grace in their hearts to let their kids be kids and tolerate some of the "childishness" that they will inevitably manifest in this awkward transitional season of their lives. We ought not expect them to think and behave like minature adults. Come on...hormones are raging, thoughts are racing, emotions are rising and falling, bodies are morphing, self-images are being challenged to the core. Let's give them a break!
We sought to prepare our kids for these the experience of "individuation" by helping them anticipate these feelings and thoughts and by framing the process as a good and necessary part of their growing up...we told them what they would experience before it started to happen. This helped to diffuse their energy around the temptation to "prove" to us (and themselves and their peers) that they didn't "need" us so much anymore. We "smiled at their future" and warmly welcomed those "teen years"...that many uptight older Christian parents had warned us were coming. We began to deliberately give them more freedom to make personal preference choices and express their unique tastes in non-essential "cultural" matters...styles of clothing, hair length and color (oh my!), favorite music styles, etc. ...all within healthy, proper, but flexing and expanding, boundaries. One time I inadvertently got Lisa in a bit of trouble at her conservative Christian school because I shaved the back of her head beneath the longer hair above it that would cover the shaved patch--I thought it looked cool. We didn't know it was apparently against the unwritten rules of the school! (Through the years I developed my barbering talents and I always cut my own kids hair--we actually bonded through this and we saved a lot of money too.) Lisa and I had some good laughs about that event.
It's interesting now to look back and see that our kids never felt the need to go to any unhealthy extremes in expressing their youthfulness. When certain harmless and benign youth fads would sweep through our culture, we allowed them to "touch" and "be touched by" them. I think that this approach actually helped them to never feel the need to plunge headlong into some strange rebellious or destructive trend. We didn't want to create an intensified intrigue around the "worldly", "forbidden fruit"...it wasn't worth focusing upon. (We "yawned" at most of their little fads.) However, I do remember subtly challenging each of them (during those informal philosophical talks we would have) to be their own person and "lightly resent" the fact that those evil and greedy advertisers... :-) ... on Madison Avenue were already plotting how to manipulate their personal perception of "coolness" for the next year. I encouraged them to revolt..."Everyone now join in....We don't give a rip what label is on our hip!" I spoke to them of the insecurities and foolishness behind "conforming" to the soulless herd...even the "non-conforming" youth herd...to find our sense of worth.
More to come on adolescence...crushes; spiritual doubts; family "contracts".
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Seven
It was a particular difficult day in the life of 3 1/2 year old Luke Sullivant. A series of emotional fits had occurred throughout that fateful day. Terri was worn out from having to deal with his outbursts, but it was now bedtime and things had quieted down. Luke looked up into the eyes of his weary mother and stated with very clear and certain conviction, "Da debul is trying to keep me from gettin' to God." Whoa! Terri knew a "magic moment" was at hand. She looked him back in the eyes and flatly stated, "The devil doesn't have the power to do that, Luke. Nothing can stop the love of God from getting to you. Jesus made the bridge for us to get to God when He died for our sins on the cross and then came back alive from the dead. And... you can pray tonight for Jesus to come into your heart and He will come in. All you have to do is ask Him and believe." Our boy Luke prayed the "sinner's prayer" that night. Terri and I can both testify to the reality that he was a deeply transformed little person after that night. From the next morning on, the goal and joy of his life became the desire to honor God the Father and Jesus the Son and even us...his parents. He has never significantly or seriously deviated from that spiritual center from that day--now almost 25 years later.
I have been watching the spiritual pathways of many children throughout my years of ministry. I've noticed some typical turning points at various stages of their lives that have been quite helpful to some fellow parents along the way. Of course, these are not "iron clad" principles without exceptions. Here is the first stage.
When children are about 4-6 years old:
Needless to say, we believe that very young children can experience the "new birth". (All five of our children came to personal intelligent faith in Jesus between the ages of 3 1/2 and 5.) Little children's consciences can become convinced of their need for Jesus to become their Savior and Lord and will somewhere along the way, typically, be willing to ask Him into their hearts...for real. I have seen the genuine evidences of the spiritual transformation of many young hearts by the grace of the Christ and the ministry of the Holy Spirit. A lot of our friends in Christ confirm this in relating their own family members' conversion stories. (By the way, most people who come to faith in Jesus, do so before the age of 18.)
It's also a time to begin to pour into their young and open hearts and minds the amazing Bible stories, fun and memorable worship music for kids (my adult kids can still remember numerous GT and the Halo Express songs!), key passage memorization, nighttime prayers, great Christian children's literature and all other kinds of God-stories from our lives, our friends' lives and from history. Their young and adventurous hearts will thrive on these wonderful stories, themes and truths. I also encourage water baptism (at an age that they will be able to recall as adults), the laying on of hands and all the rest of the stuff that goes with laying solid foundations for their spiritual lives and their futures.
Even if our children don't have a clear "conversion" experience (Luke doesn't remember his) it is still good, right and wise to instruct our them in the ways of the Lord Jesus. We, at least, are creating "forms" that we can pray for the Holy Spirit to fill with "substance" in His time. Many, many people have said that after they have had a more adult conversion experience, the things they learned about Jesus and the Bible as children came alive to them...and they are grateful for their childhood spiritual instruction and the influence of their believing parents and various kinds of school teachers.
Some parents probably balk at creating such a powerful influence on their young and impressionable children, but I say "they're our kids" and, if no one else, God has called us, who have the personal knowledge of eternal life, to impress our own offspring with the beauty of God in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I say, don't hold back from praying for your children and grandchildren to come to faith in Jesus at early ages and sensitively leading them to Him when their "magic moments" are in the air.
I have been watching the spiritual pathways of many children throughout my years of ministry. I've noticed some typical turning points at various stages of their lives that have been quite helpful to some fellow parents along the way. Of course, these are not "iron clad" principles without exceptions. Here is the first stage.
When children are about 4-6 years old:
Needless to say, we believe that very young children can experience the "new birth". (All five of our children came to personal intelligent faith in Jesus between the ages of 3 1/2 and 5.) Little children's consciences can become convinced of their need for Jesus to become their Savior and Lord and will somewhere along the way, typically, be willing to ask Him into their hearts...for real. I have seen the genuine evidences of the spiritual transformation of many young hearts by the grace of the Christ and the ministry of the Holy Spirit. A lot of our friends in Christ confirm this in relating their own family members' conversion stories. (By the way, most people who come to faith in Jesus, do so before the age of 18.)
It's also a time to begin to pour into their young and open hearts and minds the amazing Bible stories, fun and memorable worship music for kids (my adult kids can still remember numerous GT and the Halo Express songs!), key passage memorization, nighttime prayers, great Christian children's literature and all other kinds of God-stories from our lives, our friends' lives and from history. Their young and adventurous hearts will thrive on these wonderful stories, themes and truths. I also encourage water baptism (at an age that they will be able to recall as adults), the laying on of hands and all the rest of the stuff that goes with laying solid foundations for their spiritual lives and their futures.
Even if our children don't have a clear "conversion" experience (Luke doesn't remember his) it is still good, right and wise to instruct our them in the ways of the Lord Jesus. We, at least, are creating "forms" that we can pray for the Holy Spirit to fill with "substance" in His time. Many, many people have said that after they have had a more adult conversion experience, the things they learned about Jesus and the Bible as children came alive to them...and they are grateful for their childhood spiritual instruction and the influence of their believing parents and various kinds of school teachers.
Some parents probably balk at creating such a powerful influence on their young and impressionable children, but I say "they're our kids" and, if no one else, God has called us, who have the personal knowledge of eternal life, to impress our own offspring with the beauty of God in the gospel of Jesus Christ. I say, don't hold back from praying for your children and grandchildren to come to faith in Jesus at early ages and sensitively leading them to Him when their "magic moments" are in the air.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Six
I had a wonderful experience in speaking two days ago with my son, Mike, who is headed away from home to help lead a bunch of younger boys at Kanakuk, a Christ-centered sports camp, and then immediately to attend Manhattan Christian College and Kansas State--a dual degree being the goal. (He'll also play for MCC's excellent soccer team.) We were anticipating the many changes that he is (and Terri and I are) preparing to encounter in this new phase of his life and then also looking back on his years being reared in our home. I was asking him for his input and insight into my style of relating to him as a father. I was interested in knowing if he felt that I had pursued him well and had taught him enough things and the right things.
There were several very affirming things we were able to say to one another. (Like the timeliness of our "serious talks"..i.e. not too many!...my involvement with and enthusiastic support of him in his childhood activities and the interest I took in his friends' lives.) But one thing stood out to us both as we reminisced on our family experience.
I can best say it the way that I read about it in a book I recently read called, The Anatomy of Peace, a collaborative effort written by the Arbinger Institute. One main point they make is that we tend to focus on "correcting what is wrong"...especially when there is relational tension or challenge...instead of focusing on "helping things go right" in the broader context of the overall relationship. It relates to creating an atmosphere of peace...first in our own hearts, then into the relational mix and finally into any "problem solving" that becomes necessary.
God has kindly blessed our family by minimizing "strife" and granting us a measurable degree of "peace" in the prevailing environment of our home. (If we have failed, it is probably that we didn't learn how to express our frustrations and offenses a bit more openly. But I'm not sure...I'm still praying and talking through this one.) This provided the needed "breathing room" for the members of our family to live from their hearts without fear of any major rejections or injustices coming back upon them. As parents, we have been careful to "choose our battles wisely" because we can't create the kind of atmosphere that "helps things go right" in our homes and...that children need to flourish as human beings under God...if we are constantly "picking fights" by finding fault with and striving over the relatively minor imperfections, annoyances, unfulfilled personal preferences, immaturities, mistakes, foibles and anything or everything that tends to "bug us".
To capitalize on a rather humorous saying of Jesus--we will inevitably end up swallowing "camels" if we attempt to strain out all the "gnats" of family life! If we become angry, intolerant and petty as parents/siblings, we may "strain out the gnats" and get our way, but we will "swallow the camels" of losing our connection with our kids' hearts. The "art of graceful gnat swallowing" is needful if we want the forward movement that comes from "riding" the camels of our lives instead of being seen "ingesting" them!
There were several very affirming things we were able to say to one another. (Like the timeliness of our "serious talks"..i.e. not too many!...my involvement with and enthusiastic support of him in his childhood activities and the interest I took in his friends' lives.) But one thing stood out to us both as we reminisced on our family experience.
I can best say it the way that I read about it in a book I recently read called, The Anatomy of Peace, a collaborative effort written by the Arbinger Institute. One main point they make is that we tend to focus on "correcting what is wrong"...especially when there is relational tension or challenge...instead of focusing on "helping things go right" in the broader context of the overall relationship. It relates to creating an atmosphere of peace...first in our own hearts, then into the relational mix and finally into any "problem solving" that becomes necessary.
God has kindly blessed our family by minimizing "strife" and granting us a measurable degree of "peace" in the prevailing environment of our home. (If we have failed, it is probably that we didn't learn how to express our frustrations and offenses a bit more openly. But I'm not sure...I'm still praying and talking through this one.) This provided the needed "breathing room" for the members of our family to live from their hearts without fear of any major rejections or injustices coming back upon them. As parents, we have been careful to "choose our battles wisely" because we can't create the kind of atmosphere that "helps things go right" in our homes and...that children need to flourish as human beings under God...if we are constantly "picking fights" by finding fault with and striving over the relatively minor imperfections, annoyances, unfulfilled personal preferences, immaturities, mistakes, foibles and anything or everything that tends to "bug us".
To capitalize on a rather humorous saying of Jesus--we will inevitably end up swallowing "camels" if we attempt to strain out all the "gnats" of family life! If we become angry, intolerant and petty as parents/siblings, we may "strain out the gnats" and get our way, but we will "swallow the camels" of losing our connection with our kids' hearts. The "art of graceful gnat swallowing" is needful if we want the forward movement that comes from "riding" the camels of our lives instead of being seen "ingesting" them!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Five
Terri and I have a famous parental prayer that we have prayed many times beyond the most frequently prayed, "HELP GOD!" We seriously asked the Lord to teach our children major lessons of life through minor failures or setbacks in life. That God would not allow that devastating events and breakdowns be necessary for them and us to get into the frames of mind and spirit that He desired. (And...as I write this...I realize that there have been a few devastating events that have occurred in our extended family that don't seem to relate to a need to "learn a lesson". I insert this because this is obviously not a rigid law of life that I am addressing here.)
In those moments in which they would come face to face with their vulnerability as a weak human being, we, as parents, would seek to be alert and then uncover "the bigger redemptive story" that God was possibly (sometimes even clearly) intending to write on their hearts through their poor choices, the injustices of others toward them or challenging/painful circumstances beyond anyone's control. And...it seems to us as we now look back that He really honored that prayer big time.
One way to take advantage of this "training tool" is to take the time with our kids in those teachable moments to to talk openly and personally with them about what they are experiencing--conviction of sin, shame, embarrassment, disappointment, rejection, isolation, failure, anger, fear, despair, vengeance, envy, etc. and then help them find in Jesus and in Scripture the truths and experiences that will comfort and release their hurting hearts into the Father's hands. These moments can be too easily minimized, discounted and overlooked--often because of the emotional awkwardness's for both us and our kids that are typically associated with them. It is this tension that we must confront and surmount to minister to their need if we are to succeed in this particular point of training. And for another reason...dare I mention the speed of our lifestyles?
I remember many times in which my children (both at younger and older ages) would end up in my arms with tears of relief rolling down their cheeks because they felt they could interact directly and freely with us and, more profoundly, with God--the Biggest Daddy--who absorbs the pains of our lives into His Being and mysteriously comforts us in the "melting down" process of it all.
In those moments in which they would come face to face with their vulnerability as a weak human being, we, as parents, would seek to be alert and then uncover "the bigger redemptive story" that God was possibly (sometimes even clearly) intending to write on their hearts through their poor choices, the injustices of others toward them or challenging/painful circumstances beyond anyone's control. And...it seems to us as we now look back that He really honored that prayer big time.
One way to take advantage of this "training tool" is to take the time with our kids in those teachable moments to to talk openly and personally with them about what they are experiencing--conviction of sin, shame, embarrassment, disappointment, rejection, isolation, failure, anger, fear, despair, vengeance, envy, etc. and then help them find in Jesus and in Scripture the truths and experiences that will comfort and release their hurting hearts into the Father's hands. These moments can be too easily minimized, discounted and overlooked--often because of the emotional awkwardness's for both us and our kids that are typically associated with them. It is this tension that we must confront and surmount to minister to their need if we are to succeed in this particular point of training. And for another reason...dare I mention the speed of our lifestyles?
I remember many times in which my children (both at younger and older ages) would end up in my arms with tears of relief rolling down their cheeks because they felt they could interact directly and freely with us and, more profoundly, with God--the Biggest Daddy--who absorbs the pains of our lives into His Being and mysteriously comforts us in the "melting down" process of it all.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Four
"God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble."--The Apostle James
"Love covers a multitude of sins."--The Apostle Peter
Terri had been through a very long and taxing 24 hour labor and delivery and she was bleeding excessively. As the docs were working to stop her bleeding, I held Luke in my hands for the first time. I was weeping profusely--a mixture of gratitude his life and concern for Terri's. I was also captivated by the thought of having been given the power to "co-create" an eternal soul with the help of God himself. I was honored by being given the privilege of "discipling" someone from scratch--something I was anticipating with great joy. But poor Luke! (Bless you, son, for enduring..and overcoming...some of my early experiments in "Christian" parenting!)
Most parents I know speak about how tough they were on their first child. I remember being afraid that we were going to ruin Luke's very soul if we didn't discern and correct every mistake and imperfection he exhibited as a little boy. We were so confident in his capacity to become a "spoiled brat"--even as an infant! Talk about being ultra-intense...man, we really caught that virus!
Fortunately for both our kids and us, we learned early on that we didn't have all the wisdom we needed to be great parents and we found that being perfect parents was not something that either God or our kids expected of us. Ironically, some of the most tender moments in my relationship with my kids have come when I needed to humble myself before them and seek their forgiveness for failing them in some way. Pretending to be "the perfect parent" is actually counter-productive to being a good and wise parent.
Only God can love our kids the way they were created to be loved and we must not shield them from their need for him and his love by inadvertently attempting to become a "god" for them or to them. (I wonder if this subtle problem is at the root of the inability of many historic fervent spiritual movements to pass on their faith in a vital way to subsequent generations?) The heavenly Father is a "jealous" Deity and he isn't excited about an earthly parent presuming to take his place in the lives of these little ones he has made! Getting this straight helps us to simply release our strong and necessary, but imperfect, parental love into our kids' hearts. This mix of real, but still human, love is then folded into the God-story and God-journey of their lives. It's especially humbling to discover that some of the pain in their hearts created by our parental imperfections can actually help lead our kids to Jesus. (This is not an excuse to become an unloving parent, but it remains a fact nonetheless.) Still, our underlying unconditional love for our children is a powerful force for good in their lives and in this broken world. May God give us the grace to model well the receiving in and giving out of the kind of love that covers a multitude of mistakes.
"Love covers a multitude of sins."--The Apostle Peter
Terri had been through a very long and taxing 24 hour labor and delivery and she was bleeding excessively. As the docs were working to stop her bleeding, I held Luke in my hands for the first time. I was weeping profusely--a mixture of gratitude his life and concern for Terri's. I was also captivated by the thought of having been given the power to "co-create" an eternal soul with the help of God himself. I was honored by being given the privilege of "discipling" someone from scratch--something I was anticipating with great joy. But poor Luke! (Bless you, son, for enduring..and overcoming...some of my early experiments in "Christian" parenting!)
Most parents I know speak about how tough they were on their first child. I remember being afraid that we were going to ruin Luke's very soul if we didn't discern and correct every mistake and imperfection he exhibited as a little boy. We were so confident in his capacity to become a "spoiled brat"--even as an infant! Talk about being ultra-intense...man, we really caught that virus!
Fortunately for both our kids and us, we learned early on that we didn't have all the wisdom we needed to be great parents and we found that being perfect parents was not something that either God or our kids expected of us. Ironically, some of the most tender moments in my relationship with my kids have come when I needed to humble myself before them and seek their forgiveness for failing them in some way. Pretending to be "the perfect parent" is actually counter-productive to being a good and wise parent.
Only God can love our kids the way they were created to be loved and we must not shield them from their need for him and his love by inadvertently attempting to become a "god" for them or to them. (I wonder if this subtle problem is at the root of the inability of many historic fervent spiritual movements to pass on their faith in a vital way to subsequent generations?) The heavenly Father is a "jealous" Deity and he isn't excited about an earthly parent presuming to take his place in the lives of these little ones he has made! Getting this straight helps us to simply release our strong and necessary, but imperfect, parental love into our kids' hearts. This mix of real, but still human, love is then folded into the God-story and God-journey of their lives. It's especially humbling to discover that some of the pain in their hearts created by our parental imperfections can actually help lead our kids to Jesus. (This is not an excuse to become an unloving parent, but it remains a fact nonetheless.) Still, our underlying unconditional love for our children is a powerful force for good in their lives and in this broken world. May God give us the grace to model well the receiving in and giving out of the kind of love that covers a multitude of mistakes.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Life Lessons as a Dad--Lesson Three cont'd
In these "deep" philosophical and theological discussions with my
kids, I would engage them in a "Socratic method" of teaching/
learning. I would seek to share complex concepts in simple language
and then ask them penetrating questions rather than impose
predetermined answers on them. I would do this randomly as life
"happened"-when we rose, drove, ate, tucked them in bed, read, prayed,
worked, went on family vacations, etc. (this always worked better for
us than traditional "family devotions"). They would wrestle with
puzzling questions about God, the universe and life. I made space for
their responsive questions and sometimes surprisingly profound answers
to emerge and rise in their hearts and minds. I would give them
respect as fellow learners in ways that they could feel and appreciate
it.
Terri would also engage with them in her own motherly style of
training. It became normal for us to simply "fellowship" with our
kids in the course of daily life together. We were regularly on the
lookout for the "teachable moments" of life when young hearts are
especially open and tender-on the heels of a resolved conflict is an
especially opportune learning moment for any person. We learn best
when we are out of our comfort zones and we evaluate our experiences
with others in a safe and loving environment.
There were times, like when we would be reading a captivating story
(the Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis and the Spirit Flyer series
by John Bibee-who later became our good friend-were especially
impacting. We also read Frank Peretti's novels to them as they got a
little older.) that had spiritual lessons and metaphorical references
to Jesus and His kingdom, in which I would spontaneously and
shamelessly weep in front of my kids because my heart was so moved
upon. It is deeply impacting to people when their authority figures
are sincerely vulnerable before them. We can't pay any sum of money
for the kind of relational bond of love with our kids that results
from opening our hearts widely to the Spirit of God and them.
kids, I would engage them in a "Socratic method" of teaching/
learning. I would seek to share complex concepts in simple language
and then ask them penetrating questions rather than impose
predetermined answers on them. I would do this randomly as life
"happened"-when we rose, drove, ate, tucked them in bed, read, prayed,
worked, went on family vacations, etc. (this always worked better for
us than traditional "family devotions"). They would wrestle with
puzzling questions about God, the universe and life. I made space for
their responsive questions and sometimes surprisingly profound answers
to emerge and rise in their hearts and minds. I would give them
respect as fellow learners in ways that they could feel and appreciate
it.
Terri would also engage with them in her own motherly style of
training. It became normal for us to simply "fellowship" with our
kids in the course of daily life together. We were regularly on the
lookout for the "teachable moments" of life when young hearts are
especially open and tender-on the heels of a resolved conflict is an
especially opportune learning moment for any person. We learn best
when we are out of our comfort zones and we evaluate our experiences
with others in a safe and loving environment.
There were times, like when we would be reading a captivating story
(the Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis and the Spirit Flyer series
by John Bibee-who later became our good friend-were especially
impacting. We also read Frank Peretti's novels to them as they got a
little older.) that had spiritual lessons and metaphorical references
to Jesus and His kingdom, in which I would spontaneously and
shamelessly weep in front of my kids because my heart was so moved
upon. It is deeply impacting to people when their authority figures
are sincerely vulnerable before them. We can't pay any sum of money
for the kind of relational bond of love with our kids that results
from opening our hearts widely to the Spirit of God and them.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Three
Another idea that has "worked" well for me as a dad has been to gently invite and seek to persuade my kids, from very early ages, to adopt, internalize and own for themselves, the philosophy that Terri and I have jointly embraced about life, love, faith and family. It was our attempt to create a "team" approach to being in this world together. This value is grounded in a deep respect for each individual in our family as a beloved creation of the heavenly Father--no matter what might be their age or stage of maturity. As parents, we always believed that they were God's first, and simply entrusted to us to nurture and guide for a few years--at which time they would be launched into adulthood--still members of our family, but prepared to live with us and others as mature peers in many respects.
One of the ways that I began to introduce them to living together as a "team" was to tell them my beliefs (based in my study of Scripture) about God Himself. I don't believe that we ultimately come to know ourselves and find our bearings in life and human relations, unless we first let the mystery of God reduce us to wonder, awe and worship. So I exposed them to the biblical concepts of God that "blew my mind" in order to intentionally blow theirs too! Things like: His eternal nature, His infinitude, His sovereignty, His omnipresence, His omnipotence, His omniscience, His holiness, His justice, His humility, His love for all His creation, His choice to create "others" and make room for them in His universe, His special love and purpose for human beings, Angels and demons, Fulfilled biblical prophecies, The Trinity, His incarnation in Jesus of Nazareth, The Life, The Miracles, The Death, The Resurrection and The Ascension of Jesus, The new birth, The indwelling of the Holy Spirit and more. (a little overwhelming to our finite minds--don't you think!) As followers of Jesus, we have the greatest mysteries of the universe to offer to soothe and comfort the wounded and earthbound soul of our broken world.
This has gotten too long, so I'll have to continue in the next post! Peace out--and have a great day.
One of the ways that I began to introduce them to living together as a "team" was to tell them my beliefs (based in my study of Scripture) about God Himself. I don't believe that we ultimately come to know ourselves and find our bearings in life and human relations, unless we first let the mystery of God reduce us to wonder, awe and worship. So I exposed them to the biblical concepts of God that "blew my mind" in order to intentionally blow theirs too! Things like: His eternal nature, His infinitude, His sovereignty, His omnipresence, His omnipotence, His omniscience, His holiness, His justice, His humility, His love for all His creation, His choice to create "others" and make room for them in His universe, His special love and purpose for human beings, Angels and demons, Fulfilled biblical prophecies, The Trinity, His incarnation in Jesus of Nazareth, The Life, The Miracles, The Death, The Resurrection and The Ascension of Jesus, The new birth, The indwelling of the Holy Spirit and more. (a little overwhelming to our finite minds--don't you think!) As followers of Jesus, we have the greatest mysteries of the universe to offer to soothe and comfort the wounded and earthbound soul of our broken world.
This has gotten too long, so I'll have to continue in the next post! Peace out--and have a great day.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Two
Another big lesson that I've learned as a dad is the importance of actively and naturally speaking words of encouragement to my kids. It has been said that, in order to thrive, people need a lot more affirmation for their good choices than they need correction for their poor choices. (As a pastoral counselor over many years, I have been made keenly aware of this deficiency in people's souls. This lack has led many people into being unable to receive almost any constructive criticism. They have a "knee-jerk" reaction to anything that comes close to correction. I believe that this is often because of the paralyzing feelings of extreme shame they came to associate with the overly-harsh corrections that they suffered at the hands of angry parents.)
In our culture, we reserve "eulogies" for people who have died. I wonder how many people have been allowed to peer over the balconies of heaven (please don't scrutinize the theology here too much!) and say, "Why didn't they say all those wonderful things about me when I was alive on the earth?" Actually, in Scripture, the word "eulogy" is used many times and it refers to verbally "blessing" a living person. We should be "eulogizing" one another every day--while we still have a chance to make a difference in each other's earthly pilgrimage. And make no mistake, our power to bless another can change a person's whole course of existence--even a stranger's. Still, I think that this power increases all the more when it is "verbalized", in action and word, from parents to their children--their very own flesh and blood. Parents wield a "terrible" power--for good or ill.
One of the Sullivant "traditions" that has naturally emerged in our family culture is to intentionally speak words of affirmation to a family member who's "special day" is being celebrated. Typically, we are sitting around our big table (after a true feast!) and, one by one, all the family members look the one being honored in the eye and tell that loved one something about her or him that they have come to respect or cherish or that has touched their heart. In all seriousness, some of the most profound things that I have ever heard told, have come from the lips of members of my own family speaking sincere words of blessing to other precious members of my family. (We have also had the joy of having friends, from time to time, "eavesdrop" in on one of these events and they have universally commented on the impact it has had on them.) After so many years of doing this, it is still very rare that tears do not flow freely at some point in this exercise of verbal affirmation.
It especially during these times that I remember that I am a wealthy man.
In our culture, we reserve "eulogies" for people who have died. I wonder how many people have been allowed to peer over the balconies of heaven (please don't scrutinize the theology here too much!) and say, "Why didn't they say all those wonderful things about me when I was alive on the earth?" Actually, in Scripture, the word "eulogy" is used many times and it refers to verbally "blessing" a living person. We should be "eulogizing" one another every day--while we still have a chance to make a difference in each other's earthly pilgrimage. And make no mistake, our power to bless another can change a person's whole course of existence--even a stranger's. Still, I think that this power increases all the more when it is "verbalized", in action and word, from parents to their children--their very own flesh and blood. Parents wield a "terrible" power--for good or ill.
One of the Sullivant "traditions" that has naturally emerged in our family culture is to intentionally speak words of affirmation to a family member who's "special day" is being celebrated. Typically, we are sitting around our big table (after a true feast!) and, one by one, all the family members look the one being honored in the eye and tell that loved one something about her or him that they have come to respect or cherish or that has touched their heart. In all seriousness, some of the most profound things that I have ever heard told, have come from the lips of members of my own family speaking sincere words of blessing to other precious members of my family. (We have also had the joy of having friends, from time to time, "eavesdrop" in on one of these events and they have universally commented on the impact it has had on them.) After so many years of doing this, it is still very rare that tears do not flow freely at some point in this exercise of verbal affirmation.
It especially during these times that I remember that I am a wealthy man.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Father's Day and Life Lessons as a Dad--Lesson One
When Terri and I had been married (August 27th, 1977) for about a year
and three months, we were resting on our bed when a very strange
feeling came over me. It was a kind of "loneliness" that I had never
felt before. As I shared these feelings with Terri, I dawned on me
that it was a desire to become a father that was rising in me. We
shared that day about our mutual desire to become a parent. Almost
exactly nine months later, Luke was born--August 1979 in Little Rock
Arkansas.
Two years later in August, Lisa came into the world. Then three years
passed and Sam burst onto the scene--again in August . After moving
to Kansas City, via a short time in Michigan, and when Sam was almost
four, Mike was born--a July baby. And finally...last, but not least,
Steve arrived after another three years--hey, how did October sneak
into our family calendar?
Needless to say, we were thrust headlong into a very long stint of
parenthood. When we first talked about having kids, Terri thought we
might have two! She has been an amazing mom to our kids and I respect
her so highly for this. (One thing that she determined early on was
that she would never sacrifice our family on the altar of church
ministry. She set aside many of her God-encoded aspirations and
capacities for a more "public" kind of ministry--speaking, writing,
traveling, leading--to focus on just being a great mom who viewed her
kids as her first "ministry priority". This is one of her life
messages that I hope you'll get to hear more about in the days ahead.
And...those God-given dreams for a greater impact in ministry for
Christ?...they are now beginning to be fulfilled in her life. So watch
out world!)
When I share about parenting, I usually begin with referring to Psalm
127 verse 1:
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders (us!) labor in vain."
This is a Psalm that is much to do with God and family--and His
"senior partnership" in the enterprise. I have observed that many
parents who are Jesus-followers, are afraid and uptight about how
their kids will turn out and that this fear has long-term counter-
productive effects on the chemistry of their family relations. Sadly,
sometimes "Christian" books on parenting have only fueled the fears--
ugh.
The first lesson that I have attempted to incorporate as a dad has
been to really trust the Lord (down deep in my guts--really, really,
really) with my kids' lives and futures. This ability is empowered by
a belief that we are just their parents and that we are not the Holy
Spirit. His job is simply too big for us--duh! We have to create an
environment about our family that makes room for God to be God to our
kids, and also...for us to be us--imperfect parents who are still in
process. God has never entrusted a baby to a totally wise and mature
parent--isn't He amazing? But He has no other choice...right?
No, being a successful dad is not about being infallible. Covering up
our immaturities, failures and weaknesses as parents drives our
children's hearts away from us. Being transparent, honest and humble
about them actually, and ironically, endears them to us (Don't you
"hate that"?). They instinctively know that we haven't been and
aren't yet perfected in God's love, and they become experts at
discerning pretense--especially when they become teens. So lesson
number one is the need for dads to be vulnerable before God...and also
before our kids. It's really a great kind of relief and release when
we "go there" as fathers.
Thank God, there's more to us than our weaknesses (and more needs to
be said about this), but God does give grace to the humble. So
dad's...have a humbly happy Father's Day!
and three months, we were resting on our bed when a very strange
feeling came over me. It was a kind of "loneliness" that I had never
felt before. As I shared these feelings with Terri, I dawned on me
that it was a desire to become a father that was rising in me. We
shared that day about our mutual desire to become a parent. Almost
exactly nine months later, Luke was born--August 1979 in Little Rock
Arkansas.
Two years later in August, Lisa came into the world. Then three years
passed and Sam burst onto the scene--again in August . After moving
to Kansas City, via a short time in Michigan, and when Sam was almost
four, Mike was born--a July baby. And finally...last, but not least,
Steve arrived after another three years--hey, how did October sneak
into our family calendar?
Needless to say, we were thrust headlong into a very long stint of
parenthood. When we first talked about having kids, Terri thought we
might have two! She has been an amazing mom to our kids and I respect
her so highly for this. (One thing that she determined early on was
that she would never sacrifice our family on the altar of church
ministry. She set aside many of her God-encoded aspirations and
capacities for a more "public" kind of ministry--speaking, writing,
traveling, leading--to focus on just being a great mom who viewed her
kids as her first "ministry priority". This is one of her life
messages that I hope you'll get to hear more about in the days ahead.
And...those God-given dreams for a greater impact in ministry for
Christ?...they are now beginning to be fulfilled in her life. So watch
out world!)
When I share about parenting, I usually begin with referring to Psalm
127 verse 1:
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders (us!) labor in vain."
This is a Psalm that is much to do with God and family--and His
"senior partnership" in the enterprise. I have observed that many
parents who are Jesus-followers, are afraid and uptight about how
their kids will turn out and that this fear has long-term counter-
productive effects on the chemistry of their family relations. Sadly,
sometimes "Christian" books on parenting have only fueled the fears--
ugh.
The first lesson that I have attempted to incorporate as a dad has
been to really trust the Lord (down deep in my guts--really, really,
really) with my kids' lives and futures. This ability is empowered by
a belief that we are just their parents and that we are not the Holy
Spirit. His job is simply too big for us--duh! We have to create an
environment about our family that makes room for God to be God to our
kids, and also...for us to be us--imperfect parents who are still in
process. God has never entrusted a baby to a totally wise and mature
parent--isn't He amazing? But He has no other choice...right?
No, being a successful dad is not about being infallible. Covering up
our immaturities, failures and weaknesses as parents drives our
children's hearts away from us. Being transparent, honest and humble
about them actually, and ironically, endears them to us (Don't you
"hate that"?). They instinctively know that we haven't been and
aren't yet perfected in God's love, and they become experts at
discerning pretense--especially when they become teens. So lesson
number one is the need for dads to be vulnerable before God...and also
before our kids. It's really a great kind of relief and release when
we "go there" as fathers.
Thank God, there's more to us than our weaknesses (and more needs to
be said about this), but God does give grace to the humble. So
dad's...have a humbly happy Father's Day!
Friday, June 15, 2007
A Quote that Shaped and Directed John Eldredge's Life
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." (Gil Bailie)
This quote is found on p. 200 in my copy of Wild At Heart--John's most widely read book to date. This concept seems to me to dwell at the core of the message that the Ransomed Heart team is offering to the Body of Christ. They have personally experienced and observed far and wide the problem of nice and dutiful, but weary, depressed and bored, believers that populate the churches of our culture. And...I really appreciate their effort to address this spiritual malaise.
One of John's main prescriptions for this malady is a challenge to us to look more deeply into our redeemed hearts and uncover, discover and rediscover the unique desires that God has encoded in us. Then we must expose, face, resist and overcome the enemy who has so often succeeded at cutting us off from living out of this wellspring of heart-passion by lying to us and enticing us to agree with his lies. This, he basically says, is what has given rise to the epidemic of spiritual boredom and the impotent forms and expressions of spirituality to which it leads.
I have been intrigued and stirred by these ideas over the last few years. I'm sure that there are people who could easily twist (and have already twisted) the intended meaning of such thoughts into various counterfeit applications to their lives. But, I certainly believe that the world's needs do not dictate our specific call--there are far too many for any one person to respond to. I also believe that Jesus has come to give us abundant life--from the inside out.
One final thought: I do know that many the of things that have really made me "come alive" in my journey with Jesus have surprised me--they have often been attended by significant sacrifices, turmoil, risk and even suffering. I have also experienced pursuing things that I thought would bring me life, but which miserably failed to do so. The question that Bailie poses seems to have depths to it that we must not underestimate as we search out the answers for our personal spiritual direction. In getting to know the Ransomed Heart team members a bit in recent days, I believe that they would concur.
This quote is found on p. 200 in my copy of Wild At Heart--John's most widely read book to date. This concept seems to me to dwell at the core of the message that the Ransomed Heart team is offering to the Body of Christ. They have personally experienced and observed far and wide the problem of nice and dutiful, but weary, depressed and bored, believers that populate the churches of our culture. And...I really appreciate their effort to address this spiritual malaise.
One of John's main prescriptions for this malady is a challenge to us to look more deeply into our redeemed hearts and uncover, discover and rediscover the unique desires that God has encoded in us. Then we must expose, face, resist and overcome the enemy who has so often succeeded at cutting us off from living out of this wellspring of heart-passion by lying to us and enticing us to agree with his lies. This, he basically says, is what has given rise to the epidemic of spiritual boredom and the impotent forms and expressions of spirituality to which it leads.
I have been intrigued and stirred by these ideas over the last few years. I'm sure that there are people who could easily twist (and have already twisted) the intended meaning of such thoughts into various counterfeit applications to their lives. But, I certainly believe that the world's needs do not dictate our specific call--there are far too many for any one person to respond to. I also believe that Jesus has come to give us abundant life--from the inside out.
One final thought: I do know that many the of things that have really made me "come alive" in my journey with Jesus have surprised me--they have often been attended by significant sacrifices, turmoil, risk and even suffering. I have also experienced pursuing things that I thought would bring me life, but which miserably failed to do so. The question that Bailie poses seems to have depths to it that we must not underestimate as we search out the answers for our personal spiritual direction. In getting to know the Ransomed Heart team members a bit in recent days, I believe that they would concur.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Fully Alive Retreat--9/20-23/07
This post is the original longer version (that needed to be cut down in size) that Terri penned for the retreat brochure. All you ladies out there should seriously pray about coming to this retreat--even if you're from way beyond KC. There is an amazing team of women from all over our city (and from various churches) who have been brought together to host this event--they are a formidable force for Jesus and the beauty of His kingdom! Check out the website for more info and to register. There's only room for 300 and the reteat center is very fine. http://www.shalomministrieskc.org/fullyalive/
Beauty. Virtue. Well-Being. Passion. Connectedness…
These are a few desires all women share no matter where they were born or what kind of society they live in. We are born to radiate beauty, to embody virtue, to live in and to give well-being to those around us. We can sparkle with passion, exude love and forge connectedness with others in such a way that the quality of life is changed for all. Women everywhere have been uniquely fashioned by God to carry and birth life – not just through our bodies but also through our hearts and souls, to be givers of life and love in our families, friendships, and communities.
What would it be like for a woman to live from a heart FULLY ALIVE? What would it be like to “fully live”? Because we know we are far from perfect and we live in such an imperfect world, we so often settle for what “is” and stop hoping for what could be. We’ve all tried hard, failed hard and been hit hard by painful realities in life. It feels sometimes like the easiest thing to do is let our hearts get hard, to resign ourselves to being less than we know we could be. Do we even dare to look beyond what is to what could be?
It seems that God had a better plan in mind all along, explained here in Hebrews 8:10 in the Message Bible:
“This new plan I’m making isn’t going to be written on paper, isn’t going to be chiseled in stone: This time I’m writing out the plan in them, carving it on the lining of their hearts. I’ll be their God, they’ll be my people.”
Amazing, His “plan” for our lives “carved in the lining of our hearts” through Christ in us, alive in our hearts and us alive in Him. Everything we need already inside of us. Now that’s a plan!
When God our Father sent His son Jesus to earth, He sent the greatest soul who ever lived to change the world simply by being Himself. In His life, in His death on the cross, and in His resurrection He lived out His destiny as the one and only Son of God. On the other side of the cross, He turns to us and offers us eternal life and a quality of human life we cannot find any other way but by freely receiving it. He made it possible for us to discover our own identity and live out our own destiny. Might we, like Jesus, on the other side of the cross, become ”great souls “ who would change the world simply by being ourselves? Could it be that by “grace plus nothing” but responding to God’s loving initiation we would be transformed into the women we long to be?
Can you hear His invitation in this Scripture from the Message Bible?
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest…Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30
What are we carrying around that is “heavy” and “ill-fitting”? Maybe things like guilt, shame and condemnation for our weaknesses and failures. How about the “ill-fitting names” that have mis-named us, keeping us from knowing our true identity? Something about “keeping company with Him” enables us to live “freely and lightly”. When you know you are “safe” and loved with no requirements or limits, the pressure comes off of your heart. You can let down and be free. The gift of unconditional love is already yours. You just have to receive it. It’s free, no strings attached.
That gift of God’s love comes to us in as many forms and as many times as we need it. It is always free and there’s always plenty. More than that, we can “off-load” all the false names, guilt, shame, and condemnation we’ve been carrying around in exchange for everything we need. He longs to tell us who we really are, to have us hear His voice speaking to us about our true identity, revealing our true beauty, affirming His love for us over and over again. He longs to see us live “freely and lightly”, dancing to the unforced rhythms of grace. Do you sense Him drawing you, can you hear Him calling your name? “Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life.” He just asks that you “keep company with Him” so you can come to know His voice and experience His disarming, transforming love. The more we know who we are and how much we are loved, the more we can rest, let down, and give loads of love and life to those around us.
Corrie Ten Boom once told a story about some missionaries she had visited in another part of the world. She said, ‘I noticed that they had given all but not taken all”. Fully Alive is about receiving personalized gifts from the limitless store of God’s grace to awaken and unlock our hearts, restoring our souls to the beauty, identity and ability originally intended for us. He is calling your heart forth to dare to hope once again, that you might become the giver of life, the fully alive woman you long to be.
Beauty. Virtue. Well-Being. Passion. Connectedness…
These are a few desires all women share no matter where they were born or what kind of society they live in. We are born to radiate beauty, to embody virtue, to live in and to give well-being to those around us. We can sparkle with passion, exude love and forge connectedness with others in such a way that the quality of life is changed for all. Women everywhere have been uniquely fashioned by God to carry and birth life – not just through our bodies but also through our hearts and souls, to be givers of life and love in our families, friendships, and communities.
What would it be like for a woman to live from a heart FULLY ALIVE? What would it be like to “fully live”? Because we know we are far from perfect and we live in such an imperfect world, we so often settle for what “is” and stop hoping for what could be. We’ve all tried hard, failed hard and been hit hard by painful realities in life. It feels sometimes like the easiest thing to do is let our hearts get hard, to resign ourselves to being less than we know we could be. Do we even dare to look beyond what is to what could be?
It seems that God had a better plan in mind all along, explained here in Hebrews 8:10 in the Message Bible:
“This new plan I’m making isn’t going to be written on paper, isn’t going to be chiseled in stone: This time I’m writing out the plan in them, carving it on the lining of their hearts. I’ll be their God, they’ll be my people.”
Amazing, His “plan” for our lives “carved in the lining of our hearts” through Christ in us, alive in our hearts and us alive in Him. Everything we need already inside of us. Now that’s a plan!
When God our Father sent His son Jesus to earth, He sent the greatest soul who ever lived to change the world simply by being Himself. In His life, in His death on the cross, and in His resurrection He lived out His destiny as the one and only Son of God. On the other side of the cross, He turns to us and offers us eternal life and a quality of human life we cannot find any other way but by freely receiving it. He made it possible for us to discover our own identity and live out our own destiny. Might we, like Jesus, on the other side of the cross, become ”great souls “ who would change the world simply by being ourselves? Could it be that by “grace plus nothing” but responding to God’s loving initiation we would be transformed into the women we long to be?
Can you hear His invitation in this Scripture from the Message Bible?
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest…Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30
What are we carrying around that is “heavy” and “ill-fitting”? Maybe things like guilt, shame and condemnation for our weaknesses and failures. How about the “ill-fitting names” that have mis-named us, keeping us from knowing our true identity? Something about “keeping company with Him” enables us to live “freely and lightly”. When you know you are “safe” and loved with no requirements or limits, the pressure comes off of your heart. You can let down and be free. The gift of unconditional love is already yours. You just have to receive it. It’s free, no strings attached.
That gift of God’s love comes to us in as many forms and as many times as we need it. It is always free and there’s always plenty. More than that, we can “off-load” all the false names, guilt, shame, and condemnation we’ve been carrying around in exchange for everything we need. He longs to tell us who we really are, to have us hear His voice speaking to us about our true identity, revealing our true beauty, affirming His love for us over and over again. He longs to see us live “freely and lightly”, dancing to the unforced rhythms of grace. Do you sense Him drawing you, can you hear Him calling your name? “Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life.” He just asks that you “keep company with Him” so you can come to know His voice and experience His disarming, transforming love. The more we know who we are and how much we are loved, the more we can rest, let down, and give loads of love and life to those around us.
Corrie Ten Boom once told a story about some missionaries she had visited in another part of the world. She said, ‘I noticed that they had given all but not taken all”. Fully Alive is about receiving personalized gifts from the limitless store of God’s grace to awaken and unlock our hearts, restoring our souls to the beauty, identity and ability originally intended for us. He is calling your heart forth to dare to hope once again, that you might become the giver of life, the fully alive woman you long to be.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
The Famous Passage About Renewed Strength
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isa 40:30-31
As I was preparing to preach from this passage last Sunday (you can hear the message, Catching our Second Wind, online at www.metro-kc.org by clicking on sermons), I was struck for the first time (after reading it over and over again over thirty-four years!) concerning the order of the various movements--from flying to running to walking.
It seems opposite from the more natural way I would tend to think--from walking to running to flying. But God's ways are not like ours once again. As I meditated on this, I considered a possible application to our Christian experience.
When God renews our strength, the first thing the Father in heaven does is lift us up in spiritual "flight" to the heavenlies by his grace and power in order to connect us to his great heart and give us a heavenly and eternal perspective on our earthly life. Secondly, he gives us a deeper revelation and appreciation for the finished redemptive work of Jesus Christ (accomplished in all that accompanied his first coming). We are enabled to "run" back to in history and then "run" forward into our present bringing with us the strength and power of that historic act that propels us with his might into our life. Finally, our spirituality becomes practical and concrete by "walking" out the routines and mundane tasks of our present life with a sense of "life as worship"--giving substance to the reality that our very body, along with all the stuff of our humanity, are a living sacrifice--acceptable and well pleasing to God. The Holy Spirit, our inner companion and friend, in concert with the will of the Father and Son, nudges and leads us in the details of our daily walk of faith in Christ.
So, we fly to the Father, we run with the Son and we walk by the Spirit.
As I was preparing to preach from this passage last Sunday (you can hear the message, Catching our Second Wind, online at www.metro-kc.org by clicking on sermons), I was struck for the first time (after reading it over and over again over thirty-four years!) concerning the order of the various movements--from flying to running to walking.
It seems opposite from the more natural way I would tend to think--from walking to running to flying. But God's ways are not like ours once again. As I meditated on this, I considered a possible application to our Christian experience.
When God renews our strength, the first thing the Father in heaven does is lift us up in spiritual "flight" to the heavenlies by his grace and power in order to connect us to his great heart and give us a heavenly and eternal perspective on our earthly life. Secondly, he gives us a deeper revelation and appreciation for the finished redemptive work of Jesus Christ (accomplished in all that accompanied his first coming). We are enabled to "run" back to in history and then "run" forward into our present bringing with us the strength and power of that historic act that propels us with his might into our life. Finally, our spirituality becomes practical and concrete by "walking" out the routines and mundane tasks of our present life with a sense of "life as worship"--giving substance to the reality that our very body, along with all the stuff of our humanity, are a living sacrifice--acceptable and well pleasing to God. The Holy Spirit, our inner companion and friend, in concert with the will of the Father and Son, nudges and leads us in the details of our daily walk of faith in Christ.
So, we fly to the Father, we run with the Son and we walk by the Spirit.
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