we got one of those calls in the middle of the night last Saturday that you hypothetically dread you may receive some fateful night. steve swift was on the line informing us through his tears in broken sentences that his precious 18 year old daughter, bethany, had just been killed in a car accident in OK. terri and i cried out to steve our instinctive reactions of denial to this tragic news as we hung up the phones. (strangely, we were both wide awake at 3am and i had even gone downstairs to pray and read scriptures. we both answered the phone call simultaneously on different extensions.) steve and judy hadn't been able to reach their daughter, rebekah (our daughter in law), or our son luke at their home (their phone was in another room and they had a fan running as "white noise" while they slept). we all had gotten to our homes late that night after celebrating a most wonderful wedding and reception of our good friends john and pippa white.
we got our three boys out of bed to tell them the shocking news and we held one another weeping openly without shame in our sudden grief. (i once told my twenty-two year old son, sam, who, as an eighteen year old, had lamented his apparent inability to weep freely, that he just needed to live some more life in this fallen world and not fret about it. he wept harder than any of us on this day...i rejoice that he has emerged as a real and free man over these four years.) terri and i threw on some clothes and headed toward luke and beka's place preparing to knock on their door until they would wake up and we would be able to inform them of bethany's death. by the time we arrived, their friend, dave brown, had gotten there ahead of us and the dubious task of breaking the news to them had fallen to him...our families are so blessed to have truly amazing friends.
luke and beka headed for tulsa to be with the swifts and we all (joined in the afternoon by daughter lisa and her fiance, james, and friends john and krista) sat and laid down in our living room and wandered around the kitchen for the next 18 hours experiencing waves of grief and tears. terri and i were scheduled to preach together in our church that morning, but we knew that we could not have pulled ourselves together for such a task. jim bailey, our new lead pastor...ready to share the word of God, in season and out of season...graciously took our slot. thanks, jim....you're our man.
on monday afternoon we loaded up in two cars to join our family, by marriage, in tulsa along with the literally dozens of extended family members and friends who invaded the swifts beautiful home to simply be "present" with them in their tragic loss. by the time we arrived, the corporate mood had shifted from shock and grief, to one of prayerful worship and the beginnings of celebrating the eighteen years of bethany's life. the songs. poems, stories and tributes were flowing that night. mounds of food had been delivered to their home. hugs and kisses mysteriously mingled with tears and laughter...you never know what you will feel if you try to anticipate an event like this...you just have to live through one.
i never spent a lot of time with bethany, but those who knew her well eloquently portrayed her as an amazing life-giving spirit--a special vessel and conduit of the Life of Jesus the Lord. she had an amazing impact on the people all around her--in her skillful musical gifts and in her skillful arts of friendship too. it was hard to imagine how great of an impact she had made on so many in her brief lifetime on this earth.
tuesday at 2pm 1100 people of all ages jammed into the stately, beautiful and grand old 1st methodist church in downtown tulsa. the service was so moving and powerful it was almost incredible. our son in law to be, james, had received a song of tribute for bethany with which he opened this amazing service in celebration of bethany's life. each person, old and young, played their part to perfection...making their contributions with the deepest kind of sincerity and poise. prayers, songs, testimonies of bethany's influence, a penetrating sermon by her youth pastor dave, worship of our great God, laughter and tears again, beautiful pictures presented on the big screen with music in the background. the whole event was a living and breathing collage of love, grace, gratitude, beauty, respect, longing, conviction, faith, truth and life and death and life beyond death. the methodist pastor lady concluded, "none of us will ever be the same again." agreed.
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