In Celebration of Dad's Life

Celebrating the Life of
Charles Wayne Sullivant
May 27th 1925-Ausust 23rd 2007
Memorial Services
Sunday August 26th &
Wednesday August 29th 2007

“Sully”, as he was called by all his family and friends, was born in Hayti, MO to Vernon Wayne and Nina Mae (Wisdom) Sullivant. He grew up in Webster Groves, MO, a suburb of St. Louis during the depression years. He became the older brother of Colleen Wright Jendusa who preceded him in death. Sully began working hard as a small-in-stature, but big-hearted, caddie at Algonquin Country Club at age 12 and earned enough money to buy his mother her first washing machine. He loved to play golf and sandlot football as a youth and later played organized football and golf at his local high school. In his senior year he placed second in the greater St. Louis high school golf tournament.
Sully went on to study at the University of Missouri during WWII after he was turned down from serving in the Army because of deafness in his right ear that was due to a childhood illness. This was a great disappointment to him, as he desperately wanted to serve our country in that era.
It was during his years in college that he met and began to date Janice McConnell who became the love of his life. They were married in Coldwater, MI on September 5th, 1948. Coldwater, Jan’s hometown was, for many years, the summer vacation destination for the Sullivant clan as Jan’s folks, Carl and Irma McConnell, owned a cottage on Morrison Lake. Through the years, Sully and Jan became the parents of four children: Susan, Mark, Michael and Steven. Sully followed in the footsteps of Jan’s beloved father, Carl, and became a successful manager for the J. C. Penney Co. He stayed with Penney’s his whole 33-year career and retired in 1985 after managing stores in Ohio, Pennsylvania and Michigan. Sully was a diligent and wonderful provider for his wife and children, which allowed Jan to be the amazing full-time homemaker she was. In his retail management years, Sully was involved in the Rotary and Kiwanis clubs in the cities where he worked. He also continued to be an avid golfer up into his 70’s. Jan and Sully made many wonderful friends along the way and their loyalty and love for their family and friends were always a major hallmark of their character and lifestyle. Sully stayed in touch with many of his dearly loved college and career friends throughout his lifetime.
In 1971 both Sully and Jan experienced a spiritual transformation by personally encountering Jesus Christ. Sully was deeply influenced by an assistant manager named Jim Fraley who was a vivacious and infectious Christian. Jan came to faith by watching Billy Graham and reading a then popular Christian book. Their newly found faith became a new centerpiece in their personal and family lives. They became active in a local church and also in various Christian ministries throughout the years.
In 1986, Jan was diagnosed with cancer. After her initial treatment in Detroit, the Sullivant’s moved back to Columbia, MO, where they had met and fell in love. Jan’s cancer recurred and she passed away in 1989. This was a great blow to Sully’s hopes for enjoying their “golden years” together. A year after Jan’s death, Sully moved to Kansas City to be near Michael and his family where Michael served as a pastor at Metro Christian Fellowship—a church community that Sully made his home. It was in Kansas City that Sully spent his last 17 years and where he loved his way into the hearts of many people, old and young alike. He loved to read the Bible and he prayed continually for numerous people. From time to time, Sully was also able to travel to see his other children and grandchildren. In his last few years, he struggled with various health problems and his social life was severely curtailed. However, his faith in God continued to grow strong and his love for all his family (12 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren) and his many friends never flagged. Sully is to be buried next to Jan in Coldwater at Oak Grove Cemetery on August 29th at 1 in the afternoon.

The picture above is a piece of wooden art that I made as a Freshman in college. I "saw" this image in a mental picture and drew it in 30 seconds and then made it in a wood shop class. It became Dad's most cherished piece of art.

Dad's Passing

It was an amazing day--8/23/07. I just somehow knew that I needed to spend the
whole day with Dad. But for two short recesses, I was with him from
7am to the moment he died. He was working very hard all day just to
breathe, but he was not in pain and had an amazing peace about
him...grateful for his life and anticipating his transition to
heaven. He told me several times today that he was not afraid to
die...not in the least. He has longed and longed to see Jesus and my
Mom...I'm not quite sure in which order...or that it really matters!!
I trust that they both were there to greet him tonight at around
7:30pm Central time.
At about 7:10 this evening he suddenly said to me, "Tell me everything
you know about heaven." So I did...and also mentioned by name the
loved ones who would be there to welcome him. Then he asked me to
read Psalm 91 to him. Then I also read Psalm 23 and Ephesians 3. I
closed my Bible and he settled down to try and rest. I went over to
the couch in the hospital room to call Terri. In the middle of my
conversation with her, I heard him yell out, "Take me!" I thought he
was just crying out to God something like the other prayers I had
heard him groan throughout the day. I hung up the phone and leaned
back to rest. A nurse came into the room to check on him and when she
touched him, she said, "I don't feel a pulse." I got up and went over
and knew immediately that he had left his broken and weary body behind
in that bed to jump into the arms of his Heavenly Father. My Dad was
gone...my Dad is gone.
I don't feel anything like "surreal" tonight. In fact, I feel a
profound realism about it all. My Dad was good and kind to me. God
made him into a great man through his childlike faith in Jesus
Christ. My Dad loved me and loves me still. I loved him and love him
still. He prayed for me and my sibs and all of our kids every day
since his retirement. And...God selected me and my family to have
the honor of being with him in his golden years of life (from 1990 to
2007) here in Kansas City after the passing of my Mother. They are
now reunited in the presence of the Holy Trinity and the heavenly
hosts. I'm sure that I will have my moments of sorrow, but tonight I
am more deeply moved by gratitude for and a celebration of his life.

Lessons of Life as a Dad--Sam's Story

The following is a account of my son, Sam's, experience of a "small miracle" that happened on a mission trip when he was 15. Sam is now 23 and recently married Caitlin Merwin on July 1st. This is an example of the kind of "spiritual branding" I referred to in my last blog that regularly mark young teens when they step out of their comfort zone of home and family to share their faith cross-culturally. Michael

The summer before my freshman year in high school, I applied with the youth group to go on a mission trip to Juarez, Mexico. We were all very excited about the trip, and I had a mixture of excitement and nerves. I remember feeling the desire to hear God, and feel his presence before we went on the two-week trip. I remember being at church and looking at some pictures on a bulletin board of when others from the church had gone to Mexico before. I got really excited and as I looked closer at a group picture, a young Mexican boy wearing a red soccer shirt stood out to me. Suddenly, I heard the name “Alejandro” inside of my head, it freaked me out. I wondered if it was God and if I’d meet a boy named Alejandro… I ruled it out as I usually would, thinking that it was just my own mental creation. A day or two later, however, I was lying in my bed at night with my eyes closed. As I was trickling into sleep, I had a mental picture of a silhouette of a young Mexican boy. As the image became clear, I noticed that he had a red soccer shirt on. Again suddenly, I heard the name “Alejandro” inside of my head. I woke from my vision feeling all of this love and compassion for this boy that I didn’t even know. Regardless, I wanted to meet him. I wanted to share my heart with him. Of course I doubted the experience again, but just in case, I wrote it down in my little moleskin journal (which I still have by the way).

Life moved on in my 15-year-old world, and our team was eventually off to Colorado to train for the trip for a week and then down to Mexico for the second week. What an awesome experience! I remember feeling completely outside of my little world, and it was so much fun. I got to meet new people, share life with them, and hang out with my best friends in the mean time. I had pretty much given up on the whole “Alejandro” experience, and so had kept it to myself and “put it on the shelf”...as my parent’s would say. I thought that either way, I am having a great time and getting to experience all of this fun stuff. Towards the end of the week in Mexico, I started to wonder if I would ever meet “this” boy. In my heart, I wanted to, but I did not want to deal with the disappointment of thinking I had heard the Lord, but not actually having heard him. It seemed safer not to want it, but I couldn’t shake it. I still wanted it.

Our last day in the mission compound, a friend and I were sitting up on a boundary wall right next door to some local residences. We looked over into a back yard and noticed a young boy walking up to us. We motioned for him to come and talk to us. He climbed up a dirt mound so we could speak eye-to-eye. With the little Spanish I knew, I said hello and asked him how he was doing. I told him my name and then asked him his. He said, “Alejandro”… It took a second for me to realize what he said, and asked him again to clarify. He said, “Alejandro!” All of the sudden it registered. I looked at his shirt, and he was wearing a red, YMCA soccer shirt. I was blown away with awe and excitement. I didn’t know what to say, I couldn’t say much anyway. But all of this love filled my heart, so I read him a scripture in Spanish and gave him my sandals, it was the least that I could do. I wanted him to know that he had a destiny and purpose in life, but all I could ultimately share with him was eye contact. I don’t think I will ever forget his eyes. I still occasionally pray for him, that God would meet him wherever he is. I still don’t understand why God allowed that to happen for Alejandro. For all I know, we looked like goofy Americans. I know that God did allow that to happen for me. I really heard God, it was real I knew it and I couldn’t make it up! I spent the rest of that night worshiping God and pouring out my heart to him. He spoke to me, an unsure and insecure 15-year-old… I feel his pride and love even now as I reflect on the experience.

-sam

Lessons of Life as a Dad--Lesson Fourteen

Early teen years seem to me to be some of the most challenging years for the spiritual lives of children. It's important to remember that their brains are not fully developed even though, for many of them, their bodies are looking more and more adult. (Are kids maturing physically at younger ages these days...it sure seems that way to me...must be the hormones in the milk and meat!) This is a phase of life in which the changes evoke a powerful temptation for them to feel insecure and to continually compare themselves to their peers. Plus...their normal drive to individuate from their parents is gaining strength, so they often don't feel inclined to lean into the love and support of their folks regarding this inner struggle.

I have seen some kids sail through this time...physically taxing activities are a healthy and good outlet for some of this angst. If a young teen can find an extra-curricular positive challenge that they enjoy, it can really help relieve a lot of inner pressure...music, sports, dance, theater, summer camps...these things can teach them many values and skills that will translate well into the responsibilities of adult life. A wise, loving and fun-filled youth group, whose leaders validate the challenge and journey of each kid, can also become a haven for them and create a healthy distance from their parents direct oversight. Hillary isn't all wrong when she says that "it takes a village to raise a child"...our children need spiritual "aunts and uncles" and older and younger "brothers and sisters," as well as their parents, to become well rounded individuals.

However, there is one thing that we discovered that helped and impacted spiritually our young teens more than anything else. This thing ended up being worth more than a thousand Sunday School lessons or a hundred youth retreats...in terms of helping them get into a better spiritual frame. This thing is a "mission trip" away from the comfort zone of home in order to love and serve hurting people from another culture and...that involves elements of rigor, adventure, prayer and risk. To see, touch, serve, love and share Jesus with people, old and young, who have such difficult daily lives and, who are often terribly oppressed, leaves a lasting imprint on a tender young teenage heart--especially if she/he fell in love with Jesus as a little child. (They will also often see the astounding difference that Christ has made in the lives of some of the local people who live in those same conditions. Sometimes they also see "real time" miraculous answers to their prayers. The next Radius blog is written by my son, Sam. It's the story of a "miraculous event" that happened around him on a mission trip to Mexico when he was 15.) This kind of experience exerts, by nature, a gravitational pull on a young teen's soul away from their self-absorption and will often cause him/her to feel more alive than they ever have in their life.

Through the years, I've watched 100's of kids return from such trips marked and branded with the vivid memories and experiences with God that they do not easily shake off or deny. They return with a different and deeper kind of spiritual encounter than what they regularly experience on a fun-filled youth retreat...for which there is also a proper place and purpose. Encourage young teens you know to sign up for such a short-term trip. They have become commonplace, thank the Lord, in church communities all over the world. It's an investment that has truly amazing returns on many levels.